It's rough. I'm struggling to keep believing. While the current fundraiser is going better than planned at the moment, I keep looking at the "setbacks" around me.
I just looked at airline pricing again... I had taken weeks off from checking because there was no point when I had less than $1000. When I looked, they had gone up. A lot. $400. That was two days ago. Today they are up $600. Also, I just found out that I now will have to buy two one-way tickets--another increase of around $200 just for that. Even if I had gotten them earlier...but I didn't have the money.
I'm sitting here wondering what God is planning. Honestly, I'm feeling kind of let down, and I don't know what to believe about Australia any more. When all you hear around you is the opinions of people who want to live life themselves, it is hard to believe something that isn't within your control.
God is teaching me. I am sure of that. This hurts too much for it to be useless.
A while back I was reading the Bible and a verse stuck out to me. God changed it a bit in my mind and He spoke it to me.
"I, who began a good work with you, will carry it on to completion."
The original comes from Philippians 1:6.
I flipped open my Bible just now, hoping to find some consolation or simply to refocus my heart, and I opened to this verse. Tears starting running down my face as I reached for my laptop. What better time to start writing again than now?
God, if you want me in Australia, then provide for me to be there. I don't know your plans, and I can't understand your ways, but help me to trust that you can and that you do. Help me to have faith that you have all this in your hands and that this work, which you started, you will carry on to completion. As the boy's father cried in Mark 9:24, "I do believe; help my unbelief!" Help me to keep my eyes fixed on you, not on the winds and waves around me. Thank you Jesus. Amen.
