They came in together and sat down at a booth. I got their drinks and watched them as they waited for their food to come. They sat there, sometimes talking and sometimes in silence, holding hands across the table. The food came up and I brought it out. Once they got it they reached again for the hands of the other and he began to pray. He prayed aloud for two minutes, quietly thanking God for whatever was on his heart and mind.
As I came back again to their table to attend to more needs, I asked them how long they had been married. 13 years. They were in their late 50s. I said to them that it was an encouragement to me to see how much they loved each other and the way that they prayed.
They told me when I came again that "this was the key" to making a marriage work like theirs did as they handed me a salvation tract. I thanked them, and assured them that, yes, I do go to church.
As they left, I watched them go out the door and walk to their car. He went to her door first and opened it and helped her in before going to his own.
It was beautiful to see, and so simple. It's just Love.
I was having a hard day today. As I talked with Joshua tonight he said something about it being an opportunity for me to see that I can't do it alone. And I can't. I wasn't even fully alone, but I couldn't make it through the day without consciously being with God for at least part of it. And I am ashamed to say that I hadn't spent any time with God today.
I can't do it alone. We won't be able to do marriage right without God, and I can't make it through a single day on my own without falling into some sort of terrible misery.
It was a good little reminder for today. I need God. Everywhere. Every day. And I always will.
Friday, November 8, 2013
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Hey, God; I Need You
A thought flashed to mind today as I was working. One of my co-workers' section was slammed with people all in a five minute span at lunchtime today. As she went about trying to get all their drinks and orders, she looked rushed, but also like she had it basically under control; besides, we didn't know exactly what she needed and our help would be unwelcome until she asked for it.
Then my boss asked her if she'd gotten drinks for one of the tables. She replied no, she hadn't had time. He told her to ask someone to help. "I need a diet and a water," she said.
"Alright." I grabbed them for her and as she flew by she barked orders to take them to "right four."
It's of little consequence what actually happened, but in the moment a thought crossed my mind. I wondered how often we go about life and wonder why there is no one there to help us and stress about how we can't do it on our own, but the whole time there really is someone there. If not a human presence, then God is always ready and able to give us what we need.
The thing is, people don't always see the need. We need to be told sometimes.
And God, well, He always knows what's going on, but He doesn't usually step in until we say, "Hey, God, I could use a little help down here. I can't do it on my own. I need you."
And we always do.
Then my boss asked her if she'd gotten drinks for one of the tables. She replied no, she hadn't had time. He told her to ask someone to help. "I need a diet and a water," she said.
"Alright." I grabbed them for her and as she flew by she barked orders to take them to "right four."
It's of little consequence what actually happened, but in the moment a thought crossed my mind. I wondered how often we go about life and wonder why there is no one there to help us and stress about how we can't do it on our own, but the whole time there really is someone there. If not a human presence, then God is always ready and able to give us what we need.
The thing is, people don't always see the need. We need to be told sometimes.
And God, well, He always knows what's going on, but He doesn't usually step in until we say, "Hey, God, I could use a little help down here. I can't do it on my own. I need you."
And we always do.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Homeless and Hungry
"Homeless and hungry. Anything will help."
The dilapidated cardboard sign stared at me from his shaking hands. A telephone pole on the corner held a second sign handwritten in black marker. "God Bless You."
Sometimes God asks me to give something, and sometimes he doesn't. This was one of the former. I got home, put a few things together, and headed straight back out.
As I got to the corner I saw him, still standing there in his thin sweatshirt, hood up, holding the sign asking for help. I reached the corner and opened my window. He came over, folded his sign and took off his hood, and graciously received the bag I offered. I saw his face...he was young, but it was old and tired. As I continued through the intersection he opened it, and when I turned around to return home I saw that he had dropped to his knees and was praying.
He remained that way until I could no longer see him.
How often do we receive good things from God and hardly take a second to say thank you? This man opened a bag holding a small pile of one dollar bills and a king size Twix bar, and dropped to his knees in front of the world to thank God.
I can say only that I am humbled.
The dilapidated cardboard sign stared at me from his shaking hands. A telephone pole on the corner held a second sign handwritten in black marker. "God Bless You."
Sometimes God asks me to give something, and sometimes he doesn't. This was one of the former. I got home, put a few things together, and headed straight back out.
As I got to the corner I saw him, still standing there in his thin sweatshirt, hood up, holding the sign asking for help. I reached the corner and opened my window. He came over, folded his sign and took off his hood, and graciously received the bag I offered. I saw his face...he was young, but it was old and tired. As I continued through the intersection he opened it, and when I turned around to return home I saw that he had dropped to his knees and was praying.
He remained that way until I could no longer see him.
How often do we receive good things from God and hardly take a second to say thank you? This man opened a bag holding a small pile of one dollar bills and a king size Twix bar, and dropped to his knees in front of the world to thank God.
I can say only that I am humbled.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Australia: This is Just the Beginning
Australia.
I've been saying I will be going for quite a while now. . . though only recently put in the application.
People have been wanting the story, so here it is in a nutshell.
When I was little and all through growing up I can remember only a few things that I wanted to do. I wanted to be a mommy (of course) and I wanted to share Jesus with people. I still want both, and both will happen. However, sharing Jesus with people is something I can do right now . . . . . whereas being a mommy will have to wait.
I graduated highschool having already traveled to the Dominican Republic and to Zambia on international mission trips. At the time, I was 17 years old. Though our stories differ, I remember my mom giving me three options: go to college, be a full-time missionary, or have other long-term plans for my life (marriage). I was 17. Full-time-overseas-missions is kind of out of the question as a minor. So is marriage. That left me one option and though I really never wanted to go to college, off I went.
Cornerstone was a great school, and I learned so much there. I met people who have become an integral part of my life and I have no doubt in my mind that I was supposed to be there for the 2012-2013 school year. However, in January 2013 I began to have doubts about whether or not I should stay.
At that time, I had changed my major from social work to "undecided." A perfect step in the right direction. Not. Ok, so I had no idea what I was doing with my life.
I had a mini crisis as I tried to figure out what I was doing. YWAM crossed through my mind along with other mission opportunities, but I was in school and it would have to wait until I was done. There is no time for 6 month long mission school training and college at the same time.
Eventually, I decided that I was in school, and that wasn't going to change. I may as well resign myself to that fact and get on with life. I changed my major from the ever-popular "undecided" to double in psychology and ministry. I made myself excited about it and continued learning all sorts of fun things.
Honestly, I did enjoy school. I miss it terribly sometimes. But, as it goes, I came to another fork in the road that March. God again began to lay it on my heart that maybe, just maybe, there was another plan for me.
I don't know where these thoughts came from. I brushed them aside as so many annoying flies. Soon, it became too much. I actually had to think about it. Then Mom asked me if I thought I was really supposed to be in school. Flood waters broke loose. Yeah, there were some tears, but mostly it was just thoughts.
I remembered a few things.
*I didn't ever really want to go to college.
*I was working on a second choice major, because my first choice (which I knew I didn't want to begin with) didn't work out.
*Missions are what I wanted to do. I didn't need a degree for that, necessarily.
*Debt is a terrible road block when it comes to doing anything in this life.
*YWAM kept popping up...
I wrestled with God for a whole month before coming to terms with Him. We had decided by mid-April that I wouldn't be coming back to Cornerstone. To be honest, that was a really scary thought. All I had ever known was school. I'd been in school as long as I could remember. Oh well, I guess.
I had heard and I had decided. Something people can tell you about me is that once I decide something, that's probably how it's going to stay. I began talking to people about all the details wrapped up in un-enrollment. This included everything from housing to laptops to deposit fees and the key to my mailbox.
By the beginning of June I was officially no longer a student. I had returned my laptop and all terms were settled. Camp was next on the list, but I had no idea what to expect after that.
Summer came and went, and though that would make it sound uneventful it was anything but. However, it is not extremely relevant to this part of the story and so it can wait for another day.
I returned home from camp many weekends over the summer and then finally at the end for good. We were moving, and I needed to get a job. I also needed to find a church to attend. I had been gone nearly a year and no longer called any one church home.
As I struggled to figure out what God had next for me in this crazy adventure called life, I thought of things I hadn't been able to do while in school. I had wanted to get involved in equine therapy programs, and I wanted to go places and Love people. Of course, YWAM came up again. And again. And again. I met people who talked about it. I went to church and the pastor talked about it. I talked to more people--and they had been a part of it. Others knew people who went somewhere with YWAM. I never brought it up myself, but still people would begin to talk about YWAM. Always YWAM.
I think I am a fairly intelligent woman. I can take a hint. So I started researching YWAM more thoroughly. I mostly looked at Zambia to see what I could find there. Africa holds a special place in my heart, and I believe it always will. However, I kept being pulled to look up Australia.
Funny thing is, I had heard of people going to Australia with YWAM and I always thought, "I have absolutely zero interest in going there." God's humor...gotta love it.
I got an email a few days later from a woman who works with YWAM Townsville. I must have put my information into some form on the website. To this day, I don't remember doing so. Still, she emailed me, and then called me. She has continued doing so, and did again today.
At that time, I was just looking. She helped me think about it and decide what I would want to do. It was a lot of praying before I finally decided what I wanted more information on, though at the time I wasn't willing to say I wanted to go yet.
We talked more and more, and kept praying for answers and guidance. God finally gave it. I was supposed to start planning to go to Australia in July 2014 with their Pacific DTS.
My contact called again and urged me to put in my application. I declined the request, saying that, no, God wouldn't let me forget if I was supposed to go, and yes, if I was supposed to be there God would handle it--even if that meant short notice on the application.
I continued waiting. I began to tell a few people that I was going to Australia. Then I told more. I doubted at times, but Joshua was there believing for me the whole time. And once I told others, they stood there and believed with me that I would go as well. I thank God for my family of believers that has stood around me and continues to stand around me as He sends me off.
One day, a friend of mine told me that he had something to give me. It was a surprise and I needed to come see him to receive it. It had to wait a while, but eventually I saw him. The tease he is, he waited until I was about to leave before placing an envelope in my hands. He then turned and bolted off down the hall--into the guys' dorm, no less. In other words, I couldn't follow him.
I looked down, and in my hands was that envelope. Honestly, I didn't notice it was a bank envelope, but it was. I opened it, and inside I saw $334.17. (I think I remember that number correctly.) He had saved his last paycheck from the summer simply because God had said to. There had been no reason why--just "save it." So he did. When he came back out, he explained that to me and that God had said that it was for me.
I was speechless.
Days later, I was in church listening to the sermon. I don't remember what it was about, honestly. All I remember was that it was completely unrelated to what God said to me.
"Turn in your Australia application."
It was enough for me. Ok, God. I'll get right on that. I found references and took a picture. The rest was complete already. I turned it in the next day.
His timing is perfect. Days later, I was at a bonfire with YATEC. I didn't realize it, but they all gathered around the place where I was about halfway through the evening. Then a friend of mine began to speak. He addressed everyone, and said something about a friend they wanted to thank and help out a little bit. I honestly wasn't paying very close attention.
He said my name. He handed me an envelope which he explained was from all the people gathered there. It contained $622. For Australia.
I was nearly in tears, and could hardly speak, but they had me tell this story. It ended with me saying that the application would require a deposit of nearly over $800 only weeks after it was accepted (I knew it would be--God had said so). I didn't know how it was going to come together, but I had trusted that God knew what He was doing. I hadn't asked for money, and God still hasn't said to send out support letters. I don't know if He will or not. All I know is that when He says something is going to happen, you had better believe that it's going to happen.
I got a call tonight from my friend over in Townsville, Australia. She informed me that there was a folder laying on her desk. This folder was special. It contained the acceptance information for Alainya Slakes into the YWAM Townsville Pacific DTS program for July 2014.
If I said I was not excited at this news, it would be the biggest lie of the century. I got off the phone with her and bolted through the gym with the biggest grin you can imagine stretch across my face. I slid to a stop on my knees and threw my hands into Joshua's. He looked into my eyes and I told him I'd been accepted to Australia. As I threw my arms around his neck he lifted me off my feet and spun me around. I'm sure I squealed in glee. I bounced up and down as I told all my friends there that I was going.
I didn't doubt it. In fact, when she told me that I was accepted I said I knew I would be. That was complete truth. But to actually hear it? Now, that was exciting.
Friends, I'm going to Australia. And God is going to continue to do amazing things--now, until then, once I am there, and forever afterwards.
Praise the Lord!
I've been saying I will be going for quite a while now. . . though only recently put in the application.
People have been wanting the story, so here it is in a nutshell.
When I was little and all through growing up I can remember only a few things that I wanted to do. I wanted to be a mommy (of course) and I wanted to share Jesus with people. I still want both, and both will happen. However, sharing Jesus with people is something I can do right now . . . . . whereas being a mommy will have to wait.
I graduated highschool having already traveled to the Dominican Republic and to Zambia on international mission trips. At the time, I was 17 years old. Though our stories differ, I remember my mom giving me three options: go to college, be a full-time missionary, or have other long-term plans for my life (marriage). I was 17. Full-time-overseas-missions is kind of out of the question as a minor. So is marriage. That left me one option and though I really never wanted to go to college, off I went.
Cornerstone was a great school, and I learned so much there. I met people who have become an integral part of my life and I have no doubt in my mind that I was supposed to be there for the 2012-2013 school year. However, in January 2013 I began to have doubts about whether or not I should stay.
At that time, I had changed my major from social work to "undecided." A perfect step in the right direction. Not. Ok, so I had no idea what I was doing with my life.
I had a mini crisis as I tried to figure out what I was doing. YWAM crossed through my mind along with other mission opportunities, but I was in school and it would have to wait until I was done. There is no time for 6 month long mission school training and college at the same time.
Eventually, I decided that I was in school, and that wasn't going to change. I may as well resign myself to that fact and get on with life. I changed my major from the ever-popular "undecided" to double in psychology and ministry. I made myself excited about it and continued learning all sorts of fun things.
Honestly, I did enjoy school. I miss it terribly sometimes. But, as it goes, I came to another fork in the road that March. God again began to lay it on my heart that maybe, just maybe, there was another plan for me.
I don't know where these thoughts came from. I brushed them aside as so many annoying flies. Soon, it became too much. I actually had to think about it. Then Mom asked me if I thought I was really supposed to be in school. Flood waters broke loose. Yeah, there were some tears, but mostly it was just thoughts.
I remembered a few things.
*I didn't ever really want to go to college.
*I was working on a second choice major, because my first choice (which I knew I didn't want to begin with) didn't work out.
*Missions are what I wanted to do. I didn't need a degree for that, necessarily.
*Debt is a terrible road block when it comes to doing anything in this life.
*YWAM kept popping up...
I wrestled with God for a whole month before coming to terms with Him. We had decided by mid-April that I wouldn't be coming back to Cornerstone. To be honest, that was a really scary thought. All I had ever known was school. I'd been in school as long as I could remember. Oh well, I guess.
I had heard and I had decided. Something people can tell you about me is that once I decide something, that's probably how it's going to stay. I began talking to people about all the details wrapped up in un-enrollment. This included everything from housing to laptops to deposit fees and the key to my mailbox.
By the beginning of June I was officially no longer a student. I had returned my laptop and all terms were settled. Camp was next on the list, but I had no idea what to expect after that.
Summer came and went, and though that would make it sound uneventful it was anything but. However, it is not extremely relevant to this part of the story and so it can wait for another day.
I returned home from camp many weekends over the summer and then finally at the end for good. We were moving, and I needed to get a job. I also needed to find a church to attend. I had been gone nearly a year and no longer called any one church home.
As I struggled to figure out what God had next for me in this crazy adventure called life, I thought of things I hadn't been able to do while in school. I had wanted to get involved in equine therapy programs, and I wanted to go places and Love people. Of course, YWAM came up again. And again. And again. I met people who talked about it. I went to church and the pastor talked about it. I talked to more people--and they had been a part of it. Others knew people who went somewhere with YWAM. I never brought it up myself, but still people would begin to talk about YWAM. Always YWAM.
I think I am a fairly intelligent woman. I can take a hint. So I started researching YWAM more thoroughly. I mostly looked at Zambia to see what I could find there. Africa holds a special place in my heart, and I believe it always will. However, I kept being pulled to look up Australia.
Funny thing is, I had heard of people going to Australia with YWAM and I always thought, "I have absolutely zero interest in going there." God's humor...gotta love it.
I got an email a few days later from a woman who works with YWAM Townsville. I must have put my information into some form on the website. To this day, I don't remember doing so. Still, she emailed me, and then called me. She has continued doing so, and did again today.
At that time, I was just looking. She helped me think about it and decide what I would want to do. It was a lot of praying before I finally decided what I wanted more information on, though at the time I wasn't willing to say I wanted to go yet.
We talked more and more, and kept praying for answers and guidance. God finally gave it. I was supposed to start planning to go to Australia in July 2014 with their Pacific DTS.
My contact called again and urged me to put in my application. I declined the request, saying that, no, God wouldn't let me forget if I was supposed to go, and yes, if I was supposed to be there God would handle it--even if that meant short notice on the application.
I continued waiting. I began to tell a few people that I was going to Australia. Then I told more. I doubted at times, but Joshua was there believing for me the whole time. And once I told others, they stood there and believed with me that I would go as well. I thank God for my family of believers that has stood around me and continues to stand around me as He sends me off.
One day, a friend of mine told me that he had something to give me. It was a surprise and I needed to come see him to receive it. It had to wait a while, but eventually I saw him. The tease he is, he waited until I was about to leave before placing an envelope in my hands. He then turned and bolted off down the hall--into the guys' dorm, no less. In other words, I couldn't follow him.
I looked down, and in my hands was that envelope. Honestly, I didn't notice it was a bank envelope, but it was. I opened it, and inside I saw $334.17. (I think I remember that number correctly.) He had saved his last paycheck from the summer simply because God had said to. There had been no reason why--just "save it." So he did. When he came back out, he explained that to me and that God had said that it was for me.
I was speechless.
Days later, I was in church listening to the sermon. I don't remember what it was about, honestly. All I remember was that it was completely unrelated to what God said to me.
"Turn in your Australia application."
It was enough for me. Ok, God. I'll get right on that. I found references and took a picture. The rest was complete already. I turned it in the next day.
His timing is perfect. Days later, I was at a bonfire with YATEC. I didn't realize it, but they all gathered around the place where I was about halfway through the evening. Then a friend of mine began to speak. He addressed everyone, and said something about a friend they wanted to thank and help out a little bit. I honestly wasn't paying very close attention.
He said my name. He handed me an envelope which he explained was from all the people gathered there. It contained $622. For Australia.
I was nearly in tears, and could hardly speak, but they had me tell this story. It ended with me saying that the application would require a deposit of nearly over $800 only weeks after it was accepted (I knew it would be--God had said so). I didn't know how it was going to come together, but I had trusted that God knew what He was doing. I hadn't asked for money, and God still hasn't said to send out support letters. I don't know if He will or not. All I know is that when He says something is going to happen, you had better believe that it's going to happen.
I got a call tonight from my friend over in Townsville, Australia. She informed me that there was a folder laying on her desk. This folder was special. It contained the acceptance information for Alainya Slakes into the YWAM Townsville Pacific DTS program for July 2014.
If I said I was not excited at this news, it would be the biggest lie of the century. I got off the phone with her and bolted through the gym with the biggest grin you can imagine stretch across my face. I slid to a stop on my knees and threw my hands into Joshua's. He looked into my eyes and I told him I'd been accepted to Australia. As I threw my arms around his neck he lifted me off my feet and spun me around. I'm sure I squealed in glee. I bounced up and down as I told all my friends there that I was going.
I didn't doubt it. In fact, when she told me that I was accepted I said I knew I would be. That was complete truth. But to actually hear it? Now, that was exciting.
Friends, I'm going to Australia. And God is going to continue to do amazing things--now, until then, once I am there, and forever afterwards.
Praise the Lord!
Thursday, October 17, 2013
It's Always the Small Things
Just as much as the kindnesses of one can heal brokenness, the thoughtless words of another can break a heart to pieces.
I wait on people. It's what I do. I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again. Nothing is going to change in that for a long time.
Today, we were short-handed. No big deal, really. The girls and I handled it, busy though we were. We have good heads on our shoulders and can handle a bit of stress and multitasking. I was waiting on 10 tables for a good part of lunch, to give you an idea. Usually, we do half that.
It was fine--a good day as days go. Sure, we were breathing hard and had to run to keep up, but a little bit of exertion isn't bad for anyone's body or brain. I actually enjoyed it.
Once the rush calmed down I started on dishes. I was up to my elbows in greasy dishwater having mostly cleared out what was left of the lunchtime dishes when a co-worker came down on me across the counter.
"I don't know what you've been doing for the past hour," she said as she waved the daily list at me, noting that I hadn't completed a single item on it, "but you need to get to work."
I paused for a second, took a breath, and then called out her name. She stopped and looked at me. I said, "I have been working. This whole time. I have been waiting tables, making shakes, rinsing out the recyclables that were left behind the counter, doing dishes. I have been working." Then I stopped and let her go. Once she was gone I cried.
I'm not allowed to cry at work. Emotions aren't allowed to come into the workplace. But I didn't care at that point. I cried into the last of the dishwater as it went down the drain, and I cried in the napkins as I refilled them. You couldn't tell tears from rain as I took out the trash or from mop water as I cleaned the floor.
Honestly, what she says doesn't change anything. I am still going to work just as much and as hard as I do. I guess what I want to say with this is, don't only try to do good things as I asked you yesterday, but also realize that each word you say carries weight. Sometimes you don't know the story behind why--why a person is crying, why they didn't "do" as much as they should have, why . . . why anything.
Please, for the good of the world and the hearts of the broken people in it, take a minute to think about your words. Small things have such a huge impact. It's always the small things.
I wait on people. It's what I do. I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again. Nothing is going to change in that for a long time.
Today, we were short-handed. No big deal, really. The girls and I handled it, busy though we were. We have good heads on our shoulders and can handle a bit of stress and multitasking. I was waiting on 10 tables for a good part of lunch, to give you an idea. Usually, we do half that.
It was fine--a good day as days go. Sure, we were breathing hard and had to run to keep up, but a little bit of exertion isn't bad for anyone's body or brain. I actually enjoyed it.
Once the rush calmed down I started on dishes. I was up to my elbows in greasy dishwater having mostly cleared out what was left of the lunchtime dishes when a co-worker came down on me across the counter.
"I don't know what you've been doing for the past hour," she said as she waved the daily list at me, noting that I hadn't completed a single item on it, "but you need to get to work."
I paused for a second, took a breath, and then called out her name. She stopped and looked at me. I said, "I have been working. This whole time. I have been waiting tables, making shakes, rinsing out the recyclables that were left behind the counter, doing dishes. I have been working." Then I stopped and let her go. Once she was gone I cried.
I'm not allowed to cry at work. Emotions aren't allowed to come into the workplace. But I didn't care at that point. I cried into the last of the dishwater as it went down the drain, and I cried in the napkins as I refilled them. You couldn't tell tears from rain as I took out the trash or from mop water as I cleaned the floor.
Honestly, what she says doesn't change anything. I am still going to work just as much and as hard as I do. I guess what I want to say with this is, don't only try to do good things as I asked you yesterday, but also realize that each word you say carries weight. Sometimes you don't know the story behind why--why a person is crying, why they didn't "do" as much as they should have, why . . . why anything.
Please, for the good of the world and the hearts of the broken people in it, take a minute to think about your words. Small things have such a huge impact. It's always the small things.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
I Waited on an Angel
Sometimes it's the little things. . . Scratch that. It seems to almost always be the little things that mean the most. Those "random acts of kindness" that just brighten your day and remind you that there is a bit of good left in the world after all.
Yesterday, I waited on an angel. It's my job to serve, and so that's what I do. Sometimes it's tiring and thankless, and, I'll be honest, I just don't want to do it anymore.
She came in and sat down in my section. I sighed a little sigh inside almost wishing she would have sat somewhere else. I'd have welcomed the break in serving to do anything else--though there were no "choice" tasks remaining on the list. So anyway, there she sat, and I went to her. I mustered up my last real smile and made myself less important than the task at hand.
I took her order, as is usual, and set about to getting her something to drink. When I came back with it to take her order she had begun to read a tiny book. I asked her about it, trying to make friendly conversation, and we chatted for a bit--probably longer than was strictly allowable--before I went away to place her order.
She had told me that it was a book of quotes and sayings she kept in her purse for times when she was waiting and would read it hoping to find inspiration.
Each time I came back with her food, to check on her, to clear dishes, give a refill, etc, we talked a bit more. Sometimes she would say that she had read something fun or inspirational and other times she would say there was nothing new. Once, she quoted a page back to me. It said: "Make yourself necessary to somebody."
She explained that, to her, that meant that we need to live our lives with purpose. That to simply go about living day-to-day just to get through it wasn't enough. We have to live as though we are living for a reason--and to do that, we need to find a reason.
Writing this, I am realizing that I didn't really hear it that way yesterday. I just thought she was a nice lady with some tid-bits of wisdom. But thinking back, I realize that it was just what I needed to hear.
Honestly, I have been going about my days hoping that they would end. Soon. Any one of you who reads this could easily tell me that simply isn't the right way to live. And you would be entirely correct.
Make yourself necessary. . . How do I do that? How did she do that? All she did was come into a new restaurant, take out a book, and talk to a waitress, but she helped me change my outlook on life. In 30-odd minutes, she changed a life.
Shouldn't that be our goal each day? Make every encounter life-changing. In every interaction, show the world who Jesus is.
As I went to clear her table, I picked up a napkin off the tip thinking it was trash. There was something hard inside, so I opened it. Inside it was the tiny pink book of quotes and a note that simply said, "Enjoy! (="
To my angel: You made my day, you changed my life, and hopefully together we will change the world.
Monday, September 23, 2013
It Is Well with My Soul
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
This song, It Is Well, has been on my heart today. All day. It keeps spilling out of me whatever I am doing.
I woke up this morning, did devos, and let my day start slowly. At 9 I was at work--singing. At 9:30 I was at work, still singing, but about to break down from exhaustion. At 10:15 I was told to make a phone call and go home because as they had told me three times already I looked "dead on my feet" and I refused to sit and be paid for it. Good stuff. So I went home, still singing "it is well with my soul."
This weekend has been hard. Don't get me wrong, it was great. I had a wonderful time with friends, I don't mind hard work, and we got so much done. But for me, it was more than my body could handle. By the end Saturday I couldn't physically lift half the weight I could on Thursday, and today (Monday) it was all I could do to keep the tears from my eyes as I struggled to do the fairly simple tasks of filling napkins, washing dishes, and running the register.
But there's something about today that I want you all to know about. It is well with my soul. It is. There's nothing about the strain of this weekend, the trials of life, or anything else that can cause my soul to be unwell.
Even when I don't have control of my tears or my legs, my soul is still well.
*Tiny disclaimer here* Yes, there are times when our souls are unwell. I know that. But it isn't life and trials that cause that. It is the times that we stop giving our lives and our trials to God that our souls give way.
Yeah, I'm tired. I'm completely exhausted. Spent. All gone. Whatever word you want to put on it to say I have nothing left will work just fine, thank you. But I have a peace that comes from knowing that the God I live for has it all under control. Even though I don't understand how He can do what He has planned with me when my best is less than half as good as normal (and I still have a hard time believing my usual best is enough) I know that He has it. God's got it. Though I am worn--worn out--it is well with my soul.
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Preparing for War: Dishes Edition
Many of you know that I recently got a new job. What exactly do I do at that job? Well, I've been saying that I simply wash dishes. Wash dishes, cut onions, serve tables, sweep floors, etc. Nothing exciting, really. Nothing life-changing. Just dishes.
.
.
.
I was reading my daily passage in My Utmost For His Highest (MUFHH). This little devotional book never ceases to amaze me. Thank you, Oswald Chambers, for writing the words God told you to write. Take a look at what it said today.
.
.
.
Ministering as opportunity surrounds us does not mean selecting our surroundings, it means being very selectly God's in any haphazard surroundings which He engineers for us. The characteristics we manifest in our immediate surroundings are indicators of what we will be like in other surroundings.
.
The things that Jesus did were of the most menial and commonplace order, and this is an indication that it takes all God's power in me to do the most commonplace things in His way. Can I use a towel as He did? Towels and dishes and sandals, all the ordinary sordid things of our lives, reveal more quickly than anything what we are made of. It takes God Almighty Incarnate in us to do the meanest duty as it ought to be done.
.
"I have given you an example that ye should do as I have done to you." Watch the kind of people God brings around you, and you will be humiliated to find that this is His way of revealing to you the kind of person you have been to Him. Now, He says, exhibit to that one exactly what I have shown to you.
.
"Oh," you say, "I will do all that when I get out into the foreign field." To talk in this way is like trying to produce the munitions of war in the trenches--you will be killed while you are doing it.
.
We have to go the "second mile" with God. Some of us get played out in the first ten yards, because God compels us to go where we can not see the way, and we say--"I will wait till I get nearer the big crisis." If we do not do the running steadily in the little ways, we shall do nothing in the crisis.
.
.
.
First, ministering does not mean selecting our surroundings, if means being only God's in any haphazard surroundings He engineers for us. Sounds fun, right? (:
.
.
.
How we act and react in these surroundings is indicative of how we will respond to the situations we are put in later.
.
.
.
Then dishes. It takes all of God's power in me to do dishes the way that He would do them. Seriously? We are talking about dishes in a devotional? Yes. Dishes. That's all I do. Dishes, dishes, dishes. Maybe He wants to tell me something?
.
.
.
Now show that person exactly who I have been to you. Yes, and do it while you wash their dishes and sweep their floors.
.
.
.
And then he brings missions into it. How anyone could know that today I would need to be reading something about preparing for foreign missions while washing dishes the way Jesus would is beyond me, unless it was by God. Chambers didn't know me as he wrote this...but God did.
.
.
.
We can't wait until we are out in the foreign field to prepare ourselves for what will come there. It is as useless as building your weapons while you are in the trenches of war. It will not work. You need them before you get there.
.
.
.
Yesterday I read, "The workshop of missionary munitions is the hidden, personal, worshiping life of the saint." The place where God is preparing the weapons for the war I am called to fight is here and now. As I pray and seek Him, He is preparing me for the things He will call me to face.
.
.
.
In the moment, however, He has called me to be faithful in the "little things" such as washing dishes. So I will continue to do so joyfully as I pray that He continues to work in me.
.
.
.
If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.
--Luke 16:10
. . . being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
--Philippians 1:6
Monday, September 2, 2013
Only Christ In Me
I broke down today. I can't do this. No, I honestly can't. It's impossible. Do you want to see?
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. -2 Corinthians 12:9-
- Almost all of my friends are at least 35 minutes away
- I'm moving. Maybe. (The maybe is the hard part)
- I think I'm supposed to go to Australia.
- I'm scared to death to go to Australia.
- I have a new job.
- I have never waited tables before.
- I don't know anyone.
- I don't know the menu.
- Pricing? Yeah right!
- Tips have to be taxed.
- I have loans. I'm not in school, I want to be going on missions, and I have loans.
- And more loans. (Kids, don't. Just don't. Loans are a terrible mess to get into.)
- In 1 year, at the hours I am working for the wages I am getting I might have a tiny bit left over after my loans are paid off.
- There's no way I can earn enough money to go to Australia.
- They want me to put in my application ASAP
- As soon as my application is accepted, I have 3 weeks to pay $800.
- Money from Frank's goes toward loans until they are gone.
- I don't have other money.
- My passport needs to be renewed.
What on earth am I doing? I don't know what I am going to teach my girls in Bible study, I don't know where these girls are going to come from or who they are, I don't know how to play the piano, I don't know why, I don't know why, I don't know why.
I'm beginning to think that the only thing I actually do know is how to make a decent cookie. There are many people who don't mind this, but frankly it is driving me crazy.
Right now all I want to do is take things into my own hands and just say I'm going back to school where at least I will have a plan for the next three years.
Despite my teasing, I was in tears a couple of times today praying to God to help me through this. No, it doesn't look like much, but it feels like the world is crashing down around me.
I don't get it. When I went to the DR I didn't know how God was going to do it, but he did. Somehow $1500 came together in His hands. Then I was told to go to Africa. How on earth would He manage this? $4000? But I didn't have to worry about more than the first $50 because after that He took it in His hands and made it come together again. How many times will I have to trust that my God is big enough to do impossible things before I get it?
I can argue with myself all I want saying that all the times before where He has provided should be enough for me to believe, but unless I simply believe, there's no reasoning it.
When I was crying earlier, this song came on.
Praise You In This Storm
--Casting Crowns--
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
[Chorus:]
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
[Chorus]
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
[Chorus x2]
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. -2 Corinthians 12:9-
No, I can't do it on my own, but I don't want to. I want God to do it with me. And He will. I'm so broken... May the world always know that it is not me, but only Christ in me. I can do nothing alone.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Safety and God's Timing
So, we are moving soon.
I think.
Maybe.
It could be soon.
Honestly, at this point, I don't even know anymore. First it was one house, now it's another. The two are quite a distance from each other and therefore everything around them is as well. Closing on the current pick could be sometime in the next two weeks...or it could take much longer. Who knows, it might not happen at all.
And all this time I am waiting for life to straighten out so that I can do the things God has asked for me to do. There is so much going on, so much not going on, and so much changing that all I feel like doing right now is to grab onto something stable, close my eyes, and wait it out.
Today I realized that God doesn't really have it in His plan for me to shut out His plans in the chaos and just go along for the ride until things quiet down. I think I've even written about this before.... Anyway, if I honestly think life is going to quiet down, I am probably gravely mistaken. Since when has life gotten easier after a time? I can't really say. Sure, you get used to things as they are, but easier? Maybe, but probably not.
So I am letting go of that precious hope for stability and accepting that God is enough. You'd think I would have caught on by now, but I haven't. He has to keep teaching me. And I think that I have found out that if I cling to Him, though my boat is rocking in the storm, I am safe in His arms as I follow His plan for me.
(Side note: Have you ever realized that God's view of "safety" is ever so much different than ours?)
Having given up on my own view of safety and accepting his, I am working towards following the call He has placed on me in this season of my life. As you may know, I am not returning to Cornerstone this semester. I didn't understand God's reasoning for it when He told me to think about it back in January, or when I finally made my decision in June, but I see now that He has some pretty amazing plans for me. It's what happens when we trust Him, I guess. (:
One of these plans He has is that I would start a small group/Bible study with girls in the area. Now, how on earth am I supposed to do this when I don't even know the area I am going to be in? So I pushed it aside and kept waiting for things to settle. As I have been thinking about this, it might be a mixed blessing that God hasn't moved us yet. And I have been wasting time. No, maybe I don't know who is going to join this group, but I don't really need to know that right now. This is the time for prayer and planning--something that needs to be done to prepare for a thing like this. Oops. Yeah. Thank you, God.
His timing seems to be perfect. Every. Single. Time.
He is already preparing His end of it; the girls who will come, their hearts, my heart, their minds for understanding, mine for wisdom to teach and to understand them, etc... Now it is time for me to prepare what He has left for me.
In life, that is so much more than a Bible study. It goes for all of life. I am constantly making excuses saying, "when this happens, then I will ____." Not how it's supposed to work. Today I am thankful for God's patience. The Lord knows I need it as much as anyone.
I think.
Maybe.
It could be soon.
Honestly, at this point, I don't even know anymore. First it was one house, now it's another. The two are quite a distance from each other and therefore everything around them is as well. Closing on the current pick could be sometime in the next two weeks...or it could take much longer. Who knows, it might not happen at all.
And all this time I am waiting for life to straighten out so that I can do the things God has asked for me to do. There is so much going on, so much not going on, and so much changing that all I feel like doing right now is to grab onto something stable, close my eyes, and wait it out.
Today I realized that God doesn't really have it in His plan for me to shut out His plans in the chaos and just go along for the ride until things quiet down. I think I've even written about this before.... Anyway, if I honestly think life is going to quiet down, I am probably gravely mistaken. Since when has life gotten easier after a time? I can't really say. Sure, you get used to things as they are, but easier? Maybe, but probably not.
So I am letting go of that precious hope for stability and accepting that God is enough. You'd think I would have caught on by now, but I haven't. He has to keep teaching me. And I think that I have found out that if I cling to Him, though my boat is rocking in the storm, I am safe in His arms as I follow His plan for me.
(Side note: Have you ever realized that God's view of "safety" is ever so much different than ours?)
Having given up on my own view of safety and accepting his, I am working towards following the call He has placed on me in this season of my life. As you may know, I am not returning to Cornerstone this semester. I didn't understand God's reasoning for it when He told me to think about it back in January, or when I finally made my decision in June, but I see now that He has some pretty amazing plans for me. It's what happens when we trust Him, I guess. (:
One of these plans He has is that I would start a small group/Bible study with girls in the area. Now, how on earth am I supposed to do this when I don't even know the area I am going to be in? So I pushed it aside and kept waiting for things to settle. As I have been thinking about this, it might be a mixed blessing that God hasn't moved us yet. And I have been wasting time. No, maybe I don't know who is going to join this group, but I don't really need to know that right now. This is the time for prayer and planning--something that needs to be done to prepare for a thing like this. Oops. Yeah. Thank you, God.
His timing seems to be perfect. Every. Single. Time.
He is already preparing His end of it; the girls who will come, their hearts, my heart, their minds for understanding, mine for wisdom to teach and to understand them, etc... Now it is time for me to prepare what He has left for me.
In life, that is so much more than a Bible study. It goes for all of life. I am constantly making excuses saying, "when this happens, then I will ____." Not how it's supposed to work. Today I am thankful for God's patience. The Lord knows I need it as much as anyone.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Anywhere With You
Now hold your horses, and take a minute before you leave seeing that this is named after a country song. (Which you shouldn't know unless you listen to country music anyway...) Simply, don't be hatin'. There's a point to this.
Let's just say I got a little bit high on Jesus earlier today. He took a minute to remind me just how good he is, and I went crazy. Some would say exuberant, others would say insane. Either one works.
I got a call 2 hours after I had exhausted my last job option. I got out of the interview and knew that there was no way they would possibly hire me. It was family owned, family run, and they basically told me they didn't hire outsiders. Why they took the time to interview me, I don't know, but that's their deal. So I got out of this interview knowing that of all the jobs I had put in applications and gone through interviews for, there was one left that could be a possibility. I was hopeful, but still had to trust. I wasn't promised the job, after all.
You all can guess how it ends. I got the job. The phone call was an unofficial offer. (:
Anyway, I had the radio on. Country is my pick-me-up-when-I'm-already-lovin'-life music choice, so that's what I had it on, and it was blasting and loud because I was happy and excited. While most of that is irrelevant....oh whatever. Seriously, you can just read this the way I am writing it right now because I am still bouncy inside and everything is coming out a jumbled mess. No fancy writing--just pure, well, me.
The song that was on the radio was Anywhere With You. It's a guy singing about how he'd go anywhere with his girl. I wasn't thinking of it that way though. I sang it loud and proud to my Jesus. "Thank you, Jesus" was the first thought on my mind, so it's what I sang. The lyrics go like this.
Let's just say I got a little bit high on Jesus earlier today. He took a minute to remind me just how good he is, and I went crazy. Some would say exuberant, others would say insane. Either one works.
I got a call 2 hours after I had exhausted my last job option. I got out of the interview and knew that there was no way they would possibly hire me. It was family owned, family run, and they basically told me they didn't hire outsiders. Why they took the time to interview me, I don't know, but that's their deal. So I got out of this interview knowing that of all the jobs I had put in applications and gone through interviews for, there was one left that could be a possibility. I was hopeful, but still had to trust. I wasn't promised the job, after all.
You all can guess how it ends. I got the job. The phone call was an unofficial offer. (:
Anyway, I had the radio on. Country is my pick-me-up-when-I'm-already-lovin'-life music choice, so that's what I had it on, and it was blasting and loud because I was happy and excited. While most of that is irrelevant....oh whatever. Seriously, you can just read this the way I am writing it right now because I am still bouncy inside and everything is coming out a jumbled mess. No fancy writing--just pure, well, me.
The song that was on the radio was Anywhere With You. It's a guy singing about how he'd go anywhere with his girl. I wasn't thinking of it that way though. I sang it loud and proud to my Jesus. "Thank you, Jesus" was the first thought on my mind, so it's what I sang. The lyrics go like this.
Pick a spot on any old map
I travel light and my bags are packed
Just as long as I'm where you're at
I'm gonna have a real good view
I'll go anywhere, anywhere with you
Yeah, Jesus. I'll go anywhere with you. My bags are packed. I'm ready. Take me and I'm sure it'll be wonderful--as long as I'm with you.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Those Who Sow Weeping
A few weeks ago I wanted to write on this passage, but I didn't. Anyway, now here is what I have to say.
5 Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.
6 Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them.
-Psalm 126:5-6
Sometimes here I wonder when or if it will all be worth it. It's hard. You know it, I'm sure. Life isn't easy for anyone. When we try to "sow" seeds for Jesus it only gets harder. This is something that I am sure many of you know as well.
Psalm 126 recognizes this, and it encourages us saying that though it is hard right now, and though we don't see the fruit of our work, we do not labor in vain.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:58 to ". . . stand firm [my dear brothers and sisters]. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
At camp this summer someone told me that "the Bible is God's Word. God's Word is God speaking to me." God knows what we are going through. He knows the things that are going to get us down. He knows what things we are going to need to hear to keep going. He knows that. And he gave us the Bible to tell us all these things that He knew we would need to hear someday. {Side note: How cool is that??} He wants us to know that though we ARE going to have trouble in this life and that the work he has for us isn't going to be easy and may in fact be downright painful, our labor in the Lord is not in vain and we who sow weeping will return singing songs of joy once we have seen the harvest of what we had sown.
This song we sang in church a few weeks ago is what initially prompted this post. Have a listen and think about it. God is good, and He will come through. Your labors are not in vain. Those who sow weeping will go out with songs of joy.
5 Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.
6 Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them.
-Psalm 126:5-6
Sometimes here I wonder when or if it will all be worth it. It's hard. You know it, I'm sure. Life isn't easy for anyone. When we try to "sow" seeds for Jesus it only gets harder. This is something that I am sure many of you know as well.
Psalm 126 recognizes this, and it encourages us saying that though it is hard right now, and though we don't see the fruit of our work, we do not labor in vain.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:58 to ". . . stand firm [my dear brothers and sisters]. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
At camp this summer someone told me that "the Bible is God's Word. God's Word is God speaking to me." God knows what we are going through. He knows the things that are going to get us down. He knows what things we are going to need to hear to keep going. He knows that. And he gave us the Bible to tell us all these things that He knew we would need to hear someday. {Side note: How cool is that??} He wants us to know that though we ARE going to have trouble in this life and that the work he has for us isn't going to be easy and may in fact be downright painful, our labor in the Lord is not in vain and we who sow weeping will return singing songs of joy once we have seen the harvest of what we had sown.
This song we sang in church a few weeks ago is what initially prompted this post. Have a listen and think about it. God is good, and He will come through. Your labors are not in vain. Those who sow weeping will go out with songs of joy.
Psalm 126
Our mouths they were filled,
filled with laughter
Our tongues they were loosed
loosed with joy
Restore us, O Lord
Restore us, O Lord
Although we are weeping,
Lord help us keep sowing,
the seeds of your kingdom,
for the day you will reap them
Your sheaves we will carry,
Lord please do not tarry,
all those who sow weeping
will go out with songs of joy
The nations will say, “He has done great things.”
The nations will sing songs of joy
Restore us, O Lord
Restore us, O Lord
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Is This My Life?
This morning I woke up to spend some time with God and I began to think. The question on my mind was, What do I have to give up? I have already given him everything, haven't I? All that I have is His.
Yeah, right.
-Luke 9:2-3
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
-Mark 12:30-31
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’"
-Matthew 25:40
__________________
The themes from these three verses have really been getting at me recently.
See, Jesus sent his disciples out with nothing. Why? Because he is their provider. He is our provider. He is my provider. There's something I can claim. Mine (: My Jesus. Back to business though, he told them to take nothing with them so that they would know that He was the reason that they were doing this. He was the reason they were fed, sheltered, clothed. If they lacked any of these things, then I guess they didn't really need it then.
We are sent out to love our neighbor. as . much . as . we love ourselves. We water it down, but honestly, doesn't this mean that if we see someone hungry we should get them food as readily as we would go and buy a sandwich for our own lunch? If we see someone without a home, wouldn't we then invite them in and give them a place to rest, if only for a night? If we took this seriously, then we wouldn't see people out on the street and pass them by--we would relate to the person shivering in the street saying, if that was me, I'd have already gone and bought a coat. And then we would do it!
And when we do this, Jesus says something that should convict us even more than what I wrote above. Anything we did for one of the least of these, we did for him. When we fed someone, offered a bed, or bought a coat for someone who needed it, we did that thing for Jesus! And any time we saw someone hungry or thirsty, naked, or sick, or in prison and we did not care for them, this we didn't do for Jesus. When we didn't help them, we ignored our God, our Savior, our Provider. The Jesus I just claimed as "mine" is the Jesus we so readily ignore when it becomes difficult or uncomfortable.
Honestly, I can't always (or often) see the exact next steps to take to live a perfect life following Christ. Maybe he wants me to do this, or maybe do that, but I don't know. And then we get caught up in the unknown and don't do anything but sit and do nothing. Don't waste your time--my bad, HIS time. Don't waste his time. Start doing something, do it for Him, and trust that he will lead you.
I leave you with this:
__________________
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
-Proverbs 3:5-6
__________________
Yeah, right.
- My family
- My clothes
- My toys
- My crafts
- My photography business
- My time
- My money
- My comfort
- My plans
- My reputation
- My pretty things
- My friends
- My thoughts
- My books
- My actions
- My love
- . . . . . . .
- And the list goes on.
My this, my that, my other thing. Sure, it's a good way to distinguish which specific things you are talking about because if you don't clarify somehow no one will know what you are speaking of.
But thoughts interrupted my reading, as they tend to do, and I was sidetracked by the question of, What if I were to make a list of all the things that I call my own, and as I go down that list simply promise it all to God. It doesn't really matter if I do it verbally or if I actually write it out; my word is as strong spoken or signed. As I thought about it, I realized that though I certainly have given most of what I have to God, there are things I would have a hard time granting him ownership of.
Family, sure. Clothes, toys, crafts, yeah. I gave him all of that the other day. Next on the list is my photography. Ouch. No, God, not that. If I make money from that I want to have it to spend on me. That's my spending money.
Yeah....not the best argument to try to win. Honestly, it's not like I have made much off of my photography anyway. I think a total of $150 is what it comes out to. But I am not willing to let him have that?
Alright. God, you can have my photography. Anything that comes from it, I will use to further your kingdom. If you bless it, it will be used to bless you, and if you do not bless it, I will still use it to bless you. You can have it. I give up.
The rest of the list is all his. Time, money, comfort, plans, reputation, pretty things, friends, thoughts, books, actions, love. God, you can have it. I am living for you.
__________________
. . . he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. He told them: “Take nothing for the journey—no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra shirt."
-Luke 9:2-3
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
-Mark 12:30-31
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’"
-Matthew 25:40
__________________
- Take nothing but the cloak on your back-no sandals, no staff, no purse, no extra tunic
- Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself
- Whatever you do for the least of these you did unto me
The themes from these three verses have really been getting at me recently.
See, Jesus sent his disciples out with nothing. Why? Because he is their provider. He is our provider. He is my provider. There's something I can claim. Mine (: My Jesus. Back to business though, he told them to take nothing with them so that they would know that He was the reason that they were doing this. He was the reason they were fed, sheltered, clothed. If they lacked any of these things, then I guess they didn't really need it then.
We are sent out to love our neighbor. as . much . as . we love ourselves. We water it down, but honestly, doesn't this mean that if we see someone hungry we should get them food as readily as we would go and buy a sandwich for our own lunch? If we see someone without a home, wouldn't we then invite them in and give them a place to rest, if only for a night? If we took this seriously, then we wouldn't see people out on the street and pass them by--we would relate to the person shivering in the street saying, if that was me, I'd have already gone and bought a coat. And then we would do it!
And when we do this, Jesus says something that should convict us even more than what I wrote above. Anything we did for one of the least of these, we did for him. When we fed someone, offered a bed, or bought a coat for someone who needed it, we did that thing for Jesus! And any time we saw someone hungry or thirsty, naked, or sick, or in prison and we did not care for them, this we didn't do for Jesus. When we didn't help them, we ignored our God, our Savior, our Provider. The Jesus I just claimed as "mine" is the Jesus we so readily ignore when it becomes difficult or uncomfortable.
Honestly, I can't always (or often) see the exact next steps to take to live a perfect life following Christ. Maybe he wants me to do this, or maybe do that, but I don't know. And then we get caught up in the unknown and don't do anything but sit and do nothing. Don't waste your time--my bad, HIS time. Don't waste his time. Start doing something, do it for Him, and trust that he will lead you.
I leave you with this:
__________________
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
-Proverbs 3:5-6
__________________
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Meaningless
It's all meaningless. Isn't that what the writer of Ecclesiastes told us so many times? Everything is meaningless.
But that's not what he meant. I don't think so, anyway.
See, we look at life and when we think about the simple day-to-day tasks whether they are washing laundry, doing dishes, job hunting, picture taking or sorting (more personal one for me there), letter writing, bed making, driving, conversations, walks on the beach, etc. we can look at them and see that in and of themselves they really are worthless.
However, if I think about this again I understand that when my life is lived for God it doesn't matter what I do--dishes, pictures, conversation--all of these things are no longer meaningless. The things that I do have a purpose, if I do them for God.
This past summer, as many of you know, I worked at camp. Looking back at it, one could wonder how a bunch of crazy college-aged kids singing silly songs, performing stunts, and chasing kids around for a summer succeeded in making any difference at all. In fact, I wondered that myself. Am I making a difference here? How can this craziness actually point to God? What's the point?
But I get it. The craziness might not point to God in itself, but the people in the craziness can. I do hesitate to argue that the only way you can keep kids interested/learning is if they get to pie their choice cabin leader, however, if it works, it works, right?
I feel like I'm rambling, but what I guess I'm trying to say is that any of these little things we do, if done for the right reason--for God's glory--it suddenly stops being meaningless.
There's this little girl I met at camp. I met dozens of girls at camp, but this one stood out to me. Her parents came for the banquet right at the beginning of summer and I was in charge of the 7-9 year-olds. I had been in charge of the older group, but the two of us clicked and I pulled some strings.
It's really not a very long story, but to make it shorter... We started writing letters to each other. We have been writing all summer. I had hoped I might make a difference in someone's life this summer, and until today I still wondered if I had. Then I got an email from her pastor's wife. She assured me that God has kept His hand on our little letters and I have a hope that He will continue to work through me with this special little girl.
I'm excited. Suddenly I am reassured that this summer -- well, it had a purpose. It had a purpose far greater than I can imagine even now. If I was able to guide one life to Jesus, if I was able to encourage one soul to continue following Him, then my summer was not meaningless.
Now as I sit here trying to figure out what to do with my life, because only God knows what my next step is even now as I feel I should have already taken it, I wait. As long as I walk in His will I know that the things I do will not be meaningless and He will show me what He would have me do.
Jesus, thank you.
But that's not what he meant. I don't think so, anyway.
See, we look at life and when we think about the simple day-to-day tasks whether they are washing laundry, doing dishes, job hunting, picture taking or sorting (more personal one for me there), letter writing, bed making, driving, conversations, walks on the beach, etc. we can look at them and see that in and of themselves they really are worthless.
However, if I think about this again I understand that when my life is lived for God it doesn't matter what I do--dishes, pictures, conversation--all of these things are no longer meaningless. The things that I do have a purpose, if I do them for God.
This past summer, as many of you know, I worked at camp. Looking back at it, one could wonder how a bunch of crazy college-aged kids singing silly songs, performing stunts, and chasing kids around for a summer succeeded in making any difference at all. In fact, I wondered that myself. Am I making a difference here? How can this craziness actually point to God? What's the point?
But I get it. The craziness might not point to God in itself, but the people in the craziness can. I do hesitate to argue that the only way you can keep kids interested/learning is if they get to pie their choice cabin leader, however, if it works, it works, right?
I feel like I'm rambling, but what I guess I'm trying to say is that any of these little things we do, if done for the right reason--for God's glory--it suddenly stops being meaningless.
There's this little girl I met at camp. I met dozens of girls at camp, but this one stood out to me. Her parents came for the banquet right at the beginning of summer and I was in charge of the 7-9 year-olds. I had been in charge of the older group, but the two of us clicked and I pulled some strings.
It's really not a very long story, but to make it shorter... We started writing letters to each other. We have been writing all summer. I had hoped I might make a difference in someone's life this summer, and until today I still wondered if I had. Then I got an email from her pastor's wife. She assured me that God has kept His hand on our little letters and I have a hope that He will continue to work through me with this special little girl.
I'm excited. Suddenly I am reassured that this summer -- well, it had a purpose. It had a purpose far greater than I can imagine even now. If I was able to guide one life to Jesus, if I was able to encourage one soul to continue following Him, then my summer was not meaningless.
Now as I sit here trying to figure out what to do with my life, because only God knows what my next step is even now as I feel I should have already taken it, I wait. As long as I walk in His will I know that the things I do will not be meaningless and He will show me what He would have me do.
Jesus, thank you.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
I Never Made a Sacrifice
"People talk of the sacrifice I have made in spending so much of my life in Africa. . . . I never made a sacrifice. We ought not to talk of 'sacrifice' when we remember the great sacrifice which He made who left His Father's throne on high to give Himself for us."
-David Livingstone
It's been on my mind recently, throughout this week and occasionally in the past month, that I seek praise far too often. Ever at all is too often, and I am certain I do it more than once daily.
As I was walking yesterday (or possibly the day before) I overheard just a snippet of conversation from one of my friends. He was quoting a verse from the Bible about boasting in what we can do. That was all I heard, but it made me think. Obviously it didn't make me think long enough, however, because today I began to do the same thing. Again.
“Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.
-2 Corinthians 10:17-18
How on earth can I claim to follow God, say that I have given Him everything, expect to be used by Him, when I am so caught up in making sure that I get the recognition for things that I have done? Honestly, that is purely arrogant of me. I could not breathe if it were not for my God. Have you ever thought of that? He is so vital to your life, so entwined in your existence that if we were to remove Him our lives would simply cease to exist.
Excuse me while I scold myself...
Seriously.
I was challenged with a question while reading Crazy Love (Francis Chan) today. It's a quote from God Is the Gospel (John Piper).
"The critical question for our generation--and for every generation--is this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?"
To be honest, my first thought was no. No way, ever. And I still hold to that. But I don't know that I had ever actually considered that before. I have no desire to ever be in any place, no matter how wonderful, without my God being right there beside me. I would rather be here with all the troubles of this world than be without Him.
If I claim that He has that importance to me, then why do I still continue to try to take the glory that He deserves? Why do I make a big deal of the pain I am in hoping someone will notice and give me sympathy or encouraging compliments about how well I am doing in spite of my "suffering"? When I do little things and continually drop subtle hints so that someone will notice them or when I repeat the things I have done that might be worthy of praise again and again until they are recognized I am only taking the glory and the attention from God. I am taking my own attention from Him and the attention I am forcing others to give to me.
The ironic thing about all this is that whenever I do get someone to notice what I have done, however seemingly significant (though terribly insignificant in the grander scheme of things) it is, I don't feel good about it at all. I feel dirty and as if I had stolen something. And didn't I? I stole God's glory.
In reality, "I never made a sacrifice."
I never made a sacrifice except that I robbed myself of the heavenly reward I might have received if I had not said a word.
“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
-Matthew 6:1-4
-David Livingstone
It's been on my mind recently, throughout this week and occasionally in the past month, that I seek praise far too often. Ever at all is too often, and I am certain I do it more than once daily.
As I was walking yesterday (or possibly the day before) I overheard just a snippet of conversation from one of my friends. He was quoting a verse from the Bible about boasting in what we can do. That was all I heard, but it made me think. Obviously it didn't make me think long enough, however, because today I began to do the same thing. Again.
“Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.
-2 Corinthians 10:17-18
How on earth can I claim to follow God, say that I have given Him everything, expect to be used by Him, when I am so caught up in making sure that I get the recognition for things that I have done? Honestly, that is purely arrogant of me. I could not breathe if it were not for my God. Have you ever thought of that? He is so vital to your life, so entwined in your existence that if we were to remove Him our lives would simply cease to exist.
Excuse me while I scold myself...
Seriously.
I was challenged with a question while reading Crazy Love (Francis Chan) today. It's a quote from God Is the Gospel (John Piper).
"The critical question for our generation--and for every generation--is this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?"
To be honest, my first thought was no. No way, ever. And I still hold to that. But I don't know that I had ever actually considered that before. I have no desire to ever be in any place, no matter how wonderful, without my God being right there beside me. I would rather be here with all the troubles of this world than be without Him.
If I claim that He has that importance to me, then why do I still continue to try to take the glory that He deserves? Why do I make a big deal of the pain I am in hoping someone will notice and give me sympathy or encouraging compliments about how well I am doing in spite of my "suffering"? When I do little things and continually drop subtle hints so that someone will notice them or when I repeat the things I have done that might be worthy of praise again and again until they are recognized I am only taking the glory and the attention from God. I am taking my own attention from Him and the attention I am forcing others to give to me.
The ironic thing about all this is that whenever I do get someone to notice what I have done, however seemingly significant (though terribly insignificant in the grander scheme of things) it is, I don't feel good about it at all. I feel dirty and as if I had stolen something. And didn't I? I stole God's glory.
In reality, "I never made a sacrifice."
I never made a sacrifice except that I robbed myself of the heavenly reward I might have received if I had not said a word.
“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
-Matthew 6:1-4
Sunday, July 21, 2013
What Strength?
I had a unique experience today. Long story short, I forgot my debit card and ended up being $7 short in cash on the groceries Mom needed for dinner. I could have figured it out, left some there and come back for it or something, but there was no way I could just get what I needed then and there.
I started trying to figure out what I needed to leave, or rather, what I could leave. Then my friend asked what was going on, how much money I needed, and offered to help pay. My first instinct? Turn him down, of course. I didn't need his help. I could go home and come back again. It wasn't that big a deal, really. But let him pay for it? No way.
He insisted, and I gave in. Thanking him, I allowed him to help me.
As we were leaving the parking lot I said, "That's really hard for me." We didn't say much more about it, but that it is hard for anyone. As we were nearing home I said something more.
"You don't realize how much you think you can do things on your own until you actually accept [receive/need] the help of another."
I thought I knew I couldn't do it on my own until I accepted his help. Then I realized that, though in this case I could have managed (No, I can't let that go. I could have done it.), I really can't do it all alone. I didn't know that was something I struggled with.
If you know me, you probably know that I can handle a lot. In fact, I probably "handle" more than I actually should be able to. It's a weakness if you think about it. Your own strength can be a terrible weakness. My strength is a terrible weakness. I say that I rely on God for my strength, but in reality, do I rely on him for my strength? Or do I simply rely on him to pick me up and carry me once I have fallen apart from "handling" more than I actually can handle?
Today, I realized that I generally operate on the latter mentality. I actually can not do anything on my own, though I try so hard. And each time I struggle, I just struggle through. Maybe it's time to start asking for or even simply allowing help--from those around me, and most importantly from the God who made me.
I started trying to figure out what I needed to leave, or rather, what I could leave. Then my friend asked what was going on, how much money I needed, and offered to help pay. My first instinct? Turn him down, of course. I didn't need his help. I could go home and come back again. It wasn't that big a deal, really. But let him pay for it? No way.
He insisted, and I gave in. Thanking him, I allowed him to help me.
As we were leaving the parking lot I said, "That's really hard for me." We didn't say much more about it, but that it is hard for anyone. As we were nearing home I said something more.
"You don't realize how much you think you can do things on your own until you actually accept [receive/need] the help of another."
I thought I knew I couldn't do it on my own until I accepted his help. Then I realized that, though in this case I could have managed (No, I can't let that go. I could have done it.), I really can't do it all alone. I didn't know that was something I struggled with.
If you know me, you probably know that I can handle a lot. In fact, I probably "handle" more than I actually should be able to. It's a weakness if you think about it. Your own strength can be a terrible weakness. My strength is a terrible weakness. I say that I rely on God for my strength, but in reality, do I rely on him for my strength? Or do I simply rely on him to pick me up and carry me once I have fallen apart from "handling" more than I actually can handle?
Today, I realized that I generally operate on the latter mentality. I actually can not do anything on my own, though I try so hard. And each time I struggle, I just struggle through. Maybe it's time to start asking for or even simply allowing help--from those around me, and most importantly from the God who made me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)