Salve for Broken Hands

I learned a really simple lesson this morning. 

As I was coming back into my room after my shower I realized again that my hands hurt. Bleaching them for hours a day really does wonders for the skin--not. At least they aren't cracking and bleeding anymore, but regardless, they are still quite sore. "Better put something on them," I thought.

I was given this salve stuff for my hands when lotion wouldn't cut it and told that it would work. If I used it consistently. It stinks. I didn't use it often at all. I used it whenever I was feeling desperate. It doesn't help much that way. It helps a little, don't get me wrong, but not as much as it could if I used it all the time. 

I offered it to my mom the other day for her hands since they were cracking and bleeding as well from the weather and washing. She turned down my offer politely and I just let it fall. A few days later she mentioned her hands to me again and I offered her the salve again. She accepted my offer this time, if somewhat hesitantly. Later that day she came into my room to ask for more of it. 

The Bible. See, it's hard sometimes to keep looking when we don't get answers and when we feel alone reading this book we have known forever. Honestly, there are parts of it that are much less than interesting, and a story is only good so many times if there isn't something else behind it. 

Praying. When you talk for hours some days and no one answers, or you go months praying consistently and get no response, it's hard to want to keep at it. 

The thing is, I think, like this salve, though it's sometimes stinky and hard, if we keep at it--keep using it--then sometime we will see a result. 

I probably need this lesson more than anyone. I'm struggling right now, especially in these areas. If you think of me, say a little prayer on my behalf? Thanks, all (:

Hope Anyway

I was going through some pictures on an app I have the other day and I came across one with a quote on it by George Bernard Shaw. Now, this man has had many things to say, and most of them humorous or wise, but this one made me think.

"He who has never hoped can never despair."

Looking at it one way, you can say it is telling you that life is better if you don't hope--because then you can not despair. 

Looking at it another, you could say that at least those who despair at one time had hope.

It caused me to think on the way people look at life. I know I have spoken to people who would rather not be disappointed than to hope for something that may not happen. In fact, I myself have, on many occasions, chosen the more certain route in favor of being disappointed in the end. 

One of my favorite scripture passages is found in Romans 5. It says:

We have also obtained access through Him by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Romans 5:2-5)

When we go through hard times, we learn endurance. Endurance produces character. Character produces hope. And this hope does not disappoint. 

Maybe I can't understand it all completely, and maybe you think I'm crazy for trying to make a point when I don't know everything about the point I'm making, but I believe this and for now I think that is enough.

If I may, I'll leave us with a challenge. Don't read that quote and think, "Well, that's right. It's just safer not to hope." Look at it instead and decide that you're going to hope anyway. It won't disappoint. It'll be worth it. I believe that. 

Living Life with Time Stopped

Time stopped. 

I was out of control and flying toward a ditch. I spun the wheel left, right, left, but nothing happened. The car twisted slightly, but the trajectory stayed relatively the same as it had been. I would land in a ditch.

Time stopped.

He bucked once, I held on tightly. He bucked twice, I looked to the ground. Three times, I noted the surroundings--a brush/garbage pile, rocks and stones, packed earth...I chose the latter. Four times and I knew he wouldn't quit. Fiv----and I was on the ground. 

Time stopped.

Two elbows wrapped around my neck. They tightened. I struggled. They tightened. I struggled. They tightened. I strug---g---le---d--- and the world went black.

Time stopped. 

I wonder if that's God's cue. I wonder if that's His place to step in and take control. Honestly, when I can no longer make sense of what is going on around me and no longer rely on anything I have in me to save myself, I think He has a lot more room to do His stuff. 

Those elbows, they tightened. I couldn't save myself. I tried, but everything began to slow down and the world became a blur. I was fighting in slow motion until I couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't see... I was scared to death, but I was ok in the end. God took care of me.

As that horse bucked I lost all sense of thought. I didn't consciously determine my landing place or how I would fall--or even that I would. Consciously all I knew was that I would hang on. God was telling some part of me on the inside to look out for where to fall, telling me to use my training and fall safely. All I knew between the first buck and the time I picked myself up off the ground was that I had hit my head somewhere in the middle. A bit of time was lost, and no fall like that is comfortable, but I had angels there. I shouldn't have been as safe as I was. 

As I careened toward the ditch tonight I knew only that I couldn't do anything to stop it. It was certain. I was in for a hard hit and a long night. Somehow, though, as I was about to pass that "point-of-no-return" I felt the car moving back toward the lane. Slowly, and quickly at the same time, my tires hit ground again and I was on my way. 

I could swear that as I was driving tonight I had an angel at each corner of my car guiding it to where it needed to be. "God, keep my tires on the road," I had asked, as I often do. He was simply answering, "Ok, I'll keep you safe tonight."

I heard the song "The Same God" on the radio a few days ago. To be honest, I have forgotten recently that My God is always right here. That He doesn't change. That He always hears me. That He always has. That He has always been by my side. That He doesn't change!

The SAME GOD that I have known if the SAME GOD that I have basically been accusing of changing when I say that He doesn't feel close or I can't hear Him any longer. He is the same. I have changed.

Sometimes it takes a while for reality to hit me--or maybe stop hitting me. If life could be like those "time stopped" moments where I simply know that God is the only one who has any control it would be pretty sweet. But that's not how it is. I like to feel like I have some control. And then I am beaten up rather than choked out, maimed rather than concussed, stuck in a ditch rather than safely on my way home.

When things happen, I think they happen for a reason. He knows things. Imaging that. Our God--My God--knows what's going on. He can see the future. How cool is that?

Back to the wall, scared you'll fall
What you going to do
Day and night,
Don't know why its like the worlds' against you
You're praying for a break through

There was a day
When your faith couldn't be held down
God was near enough to hear every word
But somehow you wish He heard you right now
Don't you know

The same God who was with you then is with you now
The same God who led you in will lead you out
So take all the fear and doubt
Go on and lay them down
The same God, the same God is with you now

Can't you see
Everything happens for a reason
There's a time, there's a place
For every season
He knows what's best for you
So don't be afraid

I guess that was a bit of rambling, but hopefully you were able to read through it. It's just a little bit of what I am learning right now, and that always tends to look a bit messy. Welcome to my life ;)