So, we are moving soon.
I think.
Maybe.
It could be soon.
Honestly, at this point, I don't even know anymore. First it was one house, now it's another. The two are quite a distance from each other and therefore everything around them is as well. Closing on the current pick could be sometime in the next two weeks...or it could take much longer. Who knows, it might not happen at all.
And all this time I am waiting for life to straighten out so that I can do the things God has asked for me to do. There is so much going on, so much not going on, and so much changing that all I feel like doing right now is to grab onto something stable, close my eyes, and wait it out.
Today I realized that God doesn't really have it in His plan for me to shut out His plans in the chaos and just go along for the ride until things quiet down. I think I've even written about this before.... Anyway, if I honestly think life is going to quiet down, I am probably gravely mistaken. Since when has life gotten easier after a time? I can't really say. Sure, you get used to things as they are, but easier? Maybe, but probably not.
So I am letting go of that precious hope for stability and accepting that God is enough. You'd think I would have caught on by now, but I haven't. He has to keep teaching me. And I think that I have found out that if I cling to Him, though my boat is rocking in the storm, I am safe in His arms as I follow His plan for me.
(Side note: Have you ever realized that God's view of "safety" is ever so much different than ours?)
Having given up on my own view of safety and accepting his, I am working towards following the call He has placed on me in this season of my life. As you may know, I am not returning to Cornerstone this semester. I didn't understand God's reasoning for it when He told me to think about it back in January, or when I finally made my decision in June, but I see now that He has some pretty amazing plans for me. It's what happens when we trust Him, I guess. (:
One of these plans He has is that I would start a small group/Bible study with girls in the area. Now, how on earth am I supposed to do this when I don't even know the area I am going to be in? So I pushed it aside and kept waiting for things to settle. As I have been thinking about this, it might be a mixed blessing that God hasn't moved us yet. And I have been wasting time. No, maybe I don't know who is going to join this group, but I don't really need to know that right now. This is the time for prayer and planning--something that needs to be done to prepare for a thing like this. Oops. Yeah. Thank you, God.
His timing seems to be perfect. Every. Single. Time.
He is already preparing His end of it; the girls who will come, their hearts, my heart, their minds for understanding, mine for wisdom to teach and to understand them, etc... Now it is time for me to prepare what He has left for me.
In life, that is so much more than a Bible study. It goes for all of life. I am constantly making excuses saying, "when this happens, then I will ____." Not how it's supposed to work. Today I am thankful for God's patience. The Lord knows I need it as much as anyone.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Monday, August 26, 2013
Anywhere With You
Now hold your horses, and take a minute before you leave seeing that this is named after a country song. (Which you shouldn't know unless you listen to country music anyway...) Simply, don't be hatin'. There's a point to this.
Let's just say I got a little bit high on Jesus earlier today. He took a minute to remind me just how good he is, and I went crazy. Some would say exuberant, others would say insane. Either one works.
I got a call 2 hours after I had exhausted my last job option. I got out of the interview and knew that there was no way they would possibly hire me. It was family owned, family run, and they basically told me they didn't hire outsiders. Why they took the time to interview me, I don't know, but that's their deal. So I got out of this interview knowing that of all the jobs I had put in applications and gone through interviews for, there was one left that could be a possibility. I was hopeful, but still had to trust. I wasn't promised the job, after all.
You all can guess how it ends. I got the job. The phone call was an unofficial offer. (:
Anyway, I had the radio on. Country is my pick-me-up-when-I'm-already-lovin'-life music choice, so that's what I had it on, and it was blasting and loud because I was happy and excited. While most of that is irrelevant....oh whatever. Seriously, you can just read this the way I am writing it right now because I am still bouncy inside and everything is coming out a jumbled mess. No fancy writing--just pure, well, me.
The song that was on the radio was Anywhere With You. It's a guy singing about how he'd go anywhere with his girl. I wasn't thinking of it that way though. I sang it loud and proud to my Jesus. "Thank you, Jesus" was the first thought on my mind, so it's what I sang. The lyrics go like this.
Let's just say I got a little bit high on Jesus earlier today. He took a minute to remind me just how good he is, and I went crazy. Some would say exuberant, others would say insane. Either one works.
I got a call 2 hours after I had exhausted my last job option. I got out of the interview and knew that there was no way they would possibly hire me. It was family owned, family run, and they basically told me they didn't hire outsiders. Why they took the time to interview me, I don't know, but that's their deal. So I got out of this interview knowing that of all the jobs I had put in applications and gone through interviews for, there was one left that could be a possibility. I was hopeful, but still had to trust. I wasn't promised the job, after all.
You all can guess how it ends. I got the job. The phone call was an unofficial offer. (:
Anyway, I had the radio on. Country is my pick-me-up-when-I'm-already-lovin'-life music choice, so that's what I had it on, and it was blasting and loud because I was happy and excited. While most of that is irrelevant....oh whatever. Seriously, you can just read this the way I am writing it right now because I am still bouncy inside and everything is coming out a jumbled mess. No fancy writing--just pure, well, me.
The song that was on the radio was Anywhere With You. It's a guy singing about how he'd go anywhere with his girl. I wasn't thinking of it that way though. I sang it loud and proud to my Jesus. "Thank you, Jesus" was the first thought on my mind, so it's what I sang. The lyrics go like this.
Pick a spot on any old map
I travel light and my bags are packed
Just as long as I'm where you're at
I'm gonna have a real good view
I'll go anywhere, anywhere with you
Yeah, Jesus. I'll go anywhere with you. My bags are packed. I'm ready. Take me and I'm sure it'll be wonderful--as long as I'm with you.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Those Who Sow Weeping
A few weeks ago I wanted to write on this passage, but I didn't. Anyway, now here is what I have to say.
5 Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.
6 Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them.
-Psalm 126:5-6
Sometimes here I wonder when or if it will all be worth it. It's hard. You know it, I'm sure. Life isn't easy for anyone. When we try to "sow" seeds for Jesus it only gets harder. This is something that I am sure many of you know as well.
Psalm 126 recognizes this, and it encourages us saying that though it is hard right now, and though we don't see the fruit of our work, we do not labor in vain.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:58 to ". . . stand firm [my dear brothers and sisters]. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
At camp this summer someone told me that "the Bible is God's Word. God's Word is God speaking to me." God knows what we are going through. He knows the things that are going to get us down. He knows what things we are going to need to hear to keep going. He knows that. And he gave us the Bible to tell us all these things that He knew we would need to hear someday. {Side note: How cool is that??} He wants us to know that though we ARE going to have trouble in this life and that the work he has for us isn't going to be easy and may in fact be downright painful, our labor in the Lord is not in vain and we who sow weeping will return singing songs of joy once we have seen the harvest of what we had sown.
This song we sang in church a few weeks ago is what initially prompted this post. Have a listen and think about it. God is good, and He will come through. Your labors are not in vain. Those who sow weeping will go out with songs of joy.
5 Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.
6 Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them.
-Psalm 126:5-6
Sometimes here I wonder when or if it will all be worth it. It's hard. You know it, I'm sure. Life isn't easy for anyone. When we try to "sow" seeds for Jesus it only gets harder. This is something that I am sure many of you know as well.
Psalm 126 recognizes this, and it encourages us saying that though it is hard right now, and though we don't see the fruit of our work, we do not labor in vain.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:58 to ". . . stand firm [my dear brothers and sisters]. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
At camp this summer someone told me that "the Bible is God's Word. God's Word is God speaking to me." God knows what we are going through. He knows the things that are going to get us down. He knows what things we are going to need to hear to keep going. He knows that. And he gave us the Bible to tell us all these things that He knew we would need to hear someday. {Side note: How cool is that??} He wants us to know that though we ARE going to have trouble in this life and that the work he has for us isn't going to be easy and may in fact be downright painful, our labor in the Lord is not in vain and we who sow weeping will return singing songs of joy once we have seen the harvest of what we had sown.
This song we sang in church a few weeks ago is what initially prompted this post. Have a listen and think about it. God is good, and He will come through. Your labors are not in vain. Those who sow weeping will go out with songs of joy.
Psalm 126
Our mouths they were filled,
filled with laughter
Our tongues they were loosed
loosed with joy
Restore us, O Lord
Restore us, O Lord
Although we are weeping,
Lord help us keep sowing,
the seeds of your kingdom,
for the day you will reap them
Your sheaves we will carry,
Lord please do not tarry,
all those who sow weeping
will go out with songs of joy
The nations will say, “He has done great things.”
The nations will sing songs of joy
Restore us, O Lord
Restore us, O Lord
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Is This My Life?
This morning I woke up to spend some time with God and I began to think. The question on my mind was, What do I have to give up? I have already given him everything, haven't I? All that I have is His.
Yeah, right.
-Luke 9:2-3
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
-Mark 12:30-31
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’"
-Matthew 25:40
__________________
The themes from these three verses have really been getting at me recently.
See, Jesus sent his disciples out with nothing. Why? Because he is their provider. He is our provider. He is my provider. There's something I can claim. Mine (: My Jesus. Back to business though, he told them to take nothing with them so that they would know that He was the reason that they were doing this. He was the reason they were fed, sheltered, clothed. If they lacked any of these things, then I guess they didn't really need it then.
We are sent out to love our neighbor. as . much . as . we love ourselves. We water it down, but honestly, doesn't this mean that if we see someone hungry we should get them food as readily as we would go and buy a sandwich for our own lunch? If we see someone without a home, wouldn't we then invite them in and give them a place to rest, if only for a night? If we took this seriously, then we wouldn't see people out on the street and pass them by--we would relate to the person shivering in the street saying, if that was me, I'd have already gone and bought a coat. And then we would do it!
And when we do this, Jesus says something that should convict us even more than what I wrote above. Anything we did for one of the least of these, we did for him. When we fed someone, offered a bed, or bought a coat for someone who needed it, we did that thing for Jesus! And any time we saw someone hungry or thirsty, naked, or sick, or in prison and we did not care for them, this we didn't do for Jesus. When we didn't help them, we ignored our God, our Savior, our Provider. The Jesus I just claimed as "mine" is the Jesus we so readily ignore when it becomes difficult or uncomfortable.
Honestly, I can't always (or often) see the exact next steps to take to live a perfect life following Christ. Maybe he wants me to do this, or maybe do that, but I don't know. And then we get caught up in the unknown and don't do anything but sit and do nothing. Don't waste your time--my bad, HIS time. Don't waste his time. Start doing something, do it for Him, and trust that he will lead you.
I leave you with this:
__________________
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
-Proverbs 3:5-6
__________________
Yeah, right.
- My family
- My clothes
- My toys
- My crafts
- My photography business
- My time
- My money
- My comfort
- My plans
- My reputation
- My pretty things
- My friends
- My thoughts
- My books
- My actions
- My love
- . . . . . . .
- And the list goes on.
My this, my that, my other thing. Sure, it's a good way to distinguish which specific things you are talking about because if you don't clarify somehow no one will know what you are speaking of.
But thoughts interrupted my reading, as they tend to do, and I was sidetracked by the question of, What if I were to make a list of all the things that I call my own, and as I go down that list simply promise it all to God. It doesn't really matter if I do it verbally or if I actually write it out; my word is as strong spoken or signed. As I thought about it, I realized that though I certainly have given most of what I have to God, there are things I would have a hard time granting him ownership of.
Family, sure. Clothes, toys, crafts, yeah. I gave him all of that the other day. Next on the list is my photography. Ouch. No, God, not that. If I make money from that I want to have it to spend on me. That's my spending money.
Yeah....not the best argument to try to win. Honestly, it's not like I have made much off of my photography anyway. I think a total of $150 is what it comes out to. But I am not willing to let him have that?
Alright. God, you can have my photography. Anything that comes from it, I will use to further your kingdom. If you bless it, it will be used to bless you, and if you do not bless it, I will still use it to bless you. You can have it. I give up.
The rest of the list is all his. Time, money, comfort, plans, reputation, pretty things, friends, thoughts, books, actions, love. God, you can have it. I am living for you.
__________________
. . . he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. He told them: “Take nothing for the journey—no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra shirt."
-Luke 9:2-3
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
-Mark 12:30-31
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’"
-Matthew 25:40
__________________
- Take nothing but the cloak on your back-no sandals, no staff, no purse, no extra tunic
- Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself
- Whatever you do for the least of these you did unto me
The themes from these three verses have really been getting at me recently.
See, Jesus sent his disciples out with nothing. Why? Because he is their provider. He is our provider. He is my provider. There's something I can claim. Mine (: My Jesus. Back to business though, he told them to take nothing with them so that they would know that He was the reason that they were doing this. He was the reason they were fed, sheltered, clothed. If they lacked any of these things, then I guess they didn't really need it then.
We are sent out to love our neighbor. as . much . as . we love ourselves. We water it down, but honestly, doesn't this mean that if we see someone hungry we should get them food as readily as we would go and buy a sandwich for our own lunch? If we see someone without a home, wouldn't we then invite them in and give them a place to rest, if only for a night? If we took this seriously, then we wouldn't see people out on the street and pass them by--we would relate to the person shivering in the street saying, if that was me, I'd have already gone and bought a coat. And then we would do it!
And when we do this, Jesus says something that should convict us even more than what I wrote above. Anything we did for one of the least of these, we did for him. When we fed someone, offered a bed, or bought a coat for someone who needed it, we did that thing for Jesus! And any time we saw someone hungry or thirsty, naked, or sick, or in prison and we did not care for them, this we didn't do for Jesus. When we didn't help them, we ignored our God, our Savior, our Provider. The Jesus I just claimed as "mine" is the Jesus we so readily ignore when it becomes difficult or uncomfortable.
Honestly, I can't always (or often) see the exact next steps to take to live a perfect life following Christ. Maybe he wants me to do this, or maybe do that, but I don't know. And then we get caught up in the unknown and don't do anything but sit and do nothing. Don't waste your time--my bad, HIS time. Don't waste his time. Start doing something, do it for Him, and trust that he will lead you.
I leave you with this:
__________________
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
-Proverbs 3:5-6
__________________
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Meaningless
It's all meaningless. Isn't that what the writer of Ecclesiastes told us so many times? Everything is meaningless.
But that's not what he meant. I don't think so, anyway.
See, we look at life and when we think about the simple day-to-day tasks whether they are washing laundry, doing dishes, job hunting, picture taking or sorting (more personal one for me there), letter writing, bed making, driving, conversations, walks on the beach, etc. we can look at them and see that in and of themselves they really are worthless.
However, if I think about this again I understand that when my life is lived for God it doesn't matter what I do--dishes, pictures, conversation--all of these things are no longer meaningless. The things that I do have a purpose, if I do them for God.
This past summer, as many of you know, I worked at camp. Looking back at it, one could wonder how a bunch of crazy college-aged kids singing silly songs, performing stunts, and chasing kids around for a summer succeeded in making any difference at all. In fact, I wondered that myself. Am I making a difference here? How can this craziness actually point to God? What's the point?
But I get it. The craziness might not point to God in itself, but the people in the craziness can. I do hesitate to argue that the only way you can keep kids interested/learning is if they get to pie their choice cabin leader, however, if it works, it works, right?
I feel like I'm rambling, but what I guess I'm trying to say is that any of these little things we do, if done for the right reason--for God's glory--it suddenly stops being meaningless.
There's this little girl I met at camp. I met dozens of girls at camp, but this one stood out to me. Her parents came for the banquet right at the beginning of summer and I was in charge of the 7-9 year-olds. I had been in charge of the older group, but the two of us clicked and I pulled some strings.
It's really not a very long story, but to make it shorter... We started writing letters to each other. We have been writing all summer. I had hoped I might make a difference in someone's life this summer, and until today I still wondered if I had. Then I got an email from her pastor's wife. She assured me that God has kept His hand on our little letters and I have a hope that He will continue to work through me with this special little girl.
I'm excited. Suddenly I am reassured that this summer -- well, it had a purpose. It had a purpose far greater than I can imagine even now. If I was able to guide one life to Jesus, if I was able to encourage one soul to continue following Him, then my summer was not meaningless.
Now as I sit here trying to figure out what to do with my life, because only God knows what my next step is even now as I feel I should have already taken it, I wait. As long as I walk in His will I know that the things I do will not be meaningless and He will show me what He would have me do.
Jesus, thank you.
But that's not what he meant. I don't think so, anyway.
See, we look at life and when we think about the simple day-to-day tasks whether they are washing laundry, doing dishes, job hunting, picture taking or sorting (more personal one for me there), letter writing, bed making, driving, conversations, walks on the beach, etc. we can look at them and see that in and of themselves they really are worthless.
However, if I think about this again I understand that when my life is lived for God it doesn't matter what I do--dishes, pictures, conversation--all of these things are no longer meaningless. The things that I do have a purpose, if I do them for God.
This past summer, as many of you know, I worked at camp. Looking back at it, one could wonder how a bunch of crazy college-aged kids singing silly songs, performing stunts, and chasing kids around for a summer succeeded in making any difference at all. In fact, I wondered that myself. Am I making a difference here? How can this craziness actually point to God? What's the point?
But I get it. The craziness might not point to God in itself, but the people in the craziness can. I do hesitate to argue that the only way you can keep kids interested/learning is if they get to pie their choice cabin leader, however, if it works, it works, right?
I feel like I'm rambling, but what I guess I'm trying to say is that any of these little things we do, if done for the right reason--for God's glory--it suddenly stops being meaningless.
There's this little girl I met at camp. I met dozens of girls at camp, but this one stood out to me. Her parents came for the banquet right at the beginning of summer and I was in charge of the 7-9 year-olds. I had been in charge of the older group, but the two of us clicked and I pulled some strings.
It's really not a very long story, but to make it shorter... We started writing letters to each other. We have been writing all summer. I had hoped I might make a difference in someone's life this summer, and until today I still wondered if I had. Then I got an email from her pastor's wife. She assured me that God has kept His hand on our little letters and I have a hope that He will continue to work through me with this special little girl.
I'm excited. Suddenly I am reassured that this summer -- well, it had a purpose. It had a purpose far greater than I can imagine even now. If I was able to guide one life to Jesus, if I was able to encourage one soul to continue following Him, then my summer was not meaningless.
Now as I sit here trying to figure out what to do with my life, because only God knows what my next step is even now as I feel I should have already taken it, I wait. As long as I walk in His will I know that the things I do will not be meaningless and He will show me what He would have me do.
Jesus, thank you.
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