Short Stories from Papua New Guinea and Cairns

Hello again! It's been a long time away... I'm tired and forgive me for not wanting to write much. I do have some stories I wrote while on outreach that I would love to share with you until I can make my writing brain turn on again. Thank you for praying for me and supporting me while I have been away and in Papua New Guinea. I arrived safely back in Australia two days ago on December 11, and fly home to Michigan on December 22. God bless and I can't wait to tell my stories in person (:

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November 11, '14 ::: We spent our first week of outreach in Cairns. While we were there, plans were made and changed on a daily basis. One of these plans was that we would do a program at an age center/nursing home. I don't think any of us really knew what to expect. We walked in, all 11 of us plus a few leaders, and easily outnumbered everyone we could see. Slowly, as we went to talk to the people who were already waiting, more people came out and sat down. After a while we started our program. It was the usual song and dance routine with a testimony thrown in. What I remember best though is the second time we did Umbaio, our Cook Islands dance. We played it up and just had fun. Some residents came to dance with us and some of our group went out to dance with them. We moved out of our lines and broke all the rules. But you should have seen their faces! The joy there was incredible. And I know without a doubt that we made a difference that day. 

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November 16, '14 ::: They're running around the house, through the yard, under the house, up the steps, up the trees and sliding down playing taps. They're sitting cross legged in pairs clapping hands and singing. They're gathered around white skinned girls with long straight hair, plaiting and pulling to their hearts' content. They are dark skinned children with huge white smiles stretched across their faces. Their joy is contagious. In the kitchen Mama is teaching excited young women to cook island delicacies. The veranda is full of people simply enjoying fellowship. Cheeks hurt from smiling and eyes are squinting from sun, but that's ok. If you close them, you will hear the joyful sounds of people loving each other and enjoying spending time with and learning from the other. And suddenly you know that anywhere you go in the world people are simply people. They want to be noticed. They want to be cared for. They want to laugh. They want to be loved. 

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November 22, '14 ::: We started walking out from the house to the beach. The tide was out, but coming in. Even so, it took about 10-15 minutes to walk to the water's edge. From the time we left the gate of the church grounds where we had been staying, children started to surround us. By the time we were halfway to the water, there was a large group. Once we arrived there were over 100 children, laughing, shouting, running... They gathered in large groups playing games and in smaller groups around each individual member of our team. The sun was setting and the water was coming in over the black sand. We each met our friend sister for the time we were in the village. We all went back that night with one to ten children hanging onto each of us. Laughter and smiles all the way. Shy girls began that night to come out of their shells, like the small creatures scattered along the sand. They would often still run and hide, but as the time went on they became more confident and secure. Friendships grew over the week and we began a trend that would stick for the remainder of outreach--make friends and say goodbye, exchange shyness for heartbreak, and unknown faces for sisters who will never be forgotten. 

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November 25, '14 ::: We only spent 2 days in Lalaura. We walked down to the beach the day we got there. I walked up and down the shoreline searching for shells to pocket. They were interesting...all dark purple or black. The group left where I was and headed around the point and I followed. As I continued looking for shells I happened upon a woman standing there on the beach. She was a deacon in the church we were visiting. We spent some time chatting. She was one of those people I just "clicked" with. We laughed and talked until the team called me away. The next day I saw her again though. We sang and danced together in church and said goodbye again after. That night we had a program again. I was looking for my friend and didn't see her anywhere. She suddenly appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, with gifts she had made. Then she took my hand and pulled me out to the center where everyone was dancing. We talked a bit more and laughed a lot. It's hard with relationships ending each day, but it was a blessing while it lasted and I'll remember her each time I see her gifts, and maybe she will remember me when she looks at mine. 

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November 30, '14 ::: We have been extremely blessed. From the very beginning of our outreach when we were provided with a place to sleep, food, and toilet paper in Port Moresby, to Viriolo where we were given food and pillows, Lalaura where we were given food and pillows and showered in gifts, Kupiano where we were given food, gifts, and spent hours singing with friends before we even met. Many tears were shed leaving the sisters there. Wairavanua greeted us with traditional dances, silk flower leis, banquet tables laden with dinner and refreshments, and once we were ready to retire, they also provided pillows and mattresses for all and washed all the laundry while they were at it. In KK they were dancing in the streets as we came in. The youth performed island dances for us and we were blessed with food and drink from the very start. Gifts were given before we said hello. When we came to Ega'a Launa they showered us again in gifts, fresh plumeria leis, hand woven hats made of palm branches, and a coconut apiece. We were again fed, given mattresses and pillows, and again our laundry was collected, washed, hung, and returned. 

We are so blessed in every village we come to that we feel like we couldn't be made more welcome or be blessed any more, but in every village we visit we are blessed more than we could imagine or expect. We have been given water, fed and clothed, given beds, and welcomed as family though we had never met any of these people. We came to be a blessing, and have been blessed more than we could have hoped or imagined. 

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. . . as I Disappear.

This week is different than all the others. While technically still a lecture week, we aren't really having lectures. This week is fucused on preparing for outreach. Lectures are full of questions on packing and culture orientation, risk analysis and prayer times. Bags are being packed, supplies purchased, money converted... There is so much to do.

Today is Tuesday, we leave for Cairns on Saturday. We will drive up there and spend a week with an Aboriginal community in Mariba. Then on the 15th we will head to the airport and fly out to PNG.

Details from there are loosely planned... They include spending nights in churches or huts in Central Province as we make our way around. Travel will be done by foot or PMV. We will eat what the islanders eat and live where they live. Bathe and do laundry where they do, and as it seems pit toilets are all the rage, we know what to expect there as well.

As far as expectations go, we don't know much more than that. We hope to visit Port Moresby, Gaba Gaba, Kupiano, Gadaguina, Gebea, and some villages along the way. Flooding is inevitable. Mosquitoes are rampant.

I would love to tell you all about it, but that's basically all I know! It will be an adventure. I will take pictures and keep a good journal so that I can tell all the stories once I am home (48 days! So hard to believe...).

Keep me in your prayers for health and safety, and the rest of my team as well. Praise Jesus, three of our staff have their finances and visas!

See you soon(: I'm about to disappear.

My Kind of Miracles

One of the guys on staff for my team prayed today for some more of "Alainya's kind of miracles" for the rest of the team. It's true. What God has been doing since the start of this journey has been a special kind of miraculous. 

From the first phone call from YWAM Townsville, who called before I applied, to God's uncanny provision of funds first for a plane ticket, only one way because prices were so high. Then when I arrived here, money appeared in my account for lecture fees. I still have no record of where it came from. After that, God provided insane sums of money through a few people just in time -- always just barely -- for outreach #1. While on outreach #1, I was given the perfect amount to buy just the right plane ticket. And now, the day of the deadline, I was shown yet again another miracle. 

See, God told me at the start of this that when He starts something, he finishes it. (Phil. 1:6) And he told me that he would be faithful to complete this work. 

Today I looked at my bank account, found some more money, added a gift I know is coming, converted that number to AUD and subtracted the cost of immunizations. I had $1379.69 of a total $1545 necessary. Wow. 

So I told one of my staff and she took the opportunity to drag me up front to share in the open mic thanksgiving time we have each Friday morning. I told the above story, cried a lot, and went back to the crowd. Afterwards, a friend who is on staff here comes up to me and tells me that God just let her know she was supposed to cover whatever was left over in my outreach fees. Oh. My. Gosh. 

$165.31--it's just pocket change for God, really. That's what I'm learning. Even $10,000+ is pocket change for him who has access to all the money in the world. 

She gave me $200. God went above and beyond. I still need a few things, some looser tops, a camping mat, bug spray...but what's all that when you look at what God can do? 

My faith has been shaken being here in Australia, but I am finding that sometimes the more something is shaken, the more you get down to what's really the solid foundation of it. And when we can find that foundation and build on that, your faith stops shaking so much and so often. 

One other thing? I found a "penny" today (: 

Thanks for looking out for me, Daddy. Both of you ;)

Change--The Island Way

Two weeks ago we came back from Brisbane. It was a wonderful time. I heard from Auntie Lorrene this week and got a chance to remember all the wonderful things that happened in her home. 

Now we are in Townsville again. Since we got back we have worked almost every day on building the new dorms for student housing. In just one week from today they commence the October DTS and will need beds for about fifty students. They won't be ready and inspected by that time, but God will help us think of somewhere to stack them. Sometimes I feel like YWAM and my mother has the same philosophy in housing people. "It doesn't matter how many. We will just stack them like cordwood." I love my mom... (:

Since getting back to Townsville we have received some really huge news as a DTS. We are going to Papua New Guinea! (PNG) It has been a long time praying for this and most of us had completely reconciled ourselves to the fact that we would just be staying in Australia...but God is good.  It's a nice birthday present for me. 

This means that we all need $3000 for outreach though. We will be spending one whole month, November 14 to December 13 (my dates may be off by a day...?), in Central Province. I am so excited to tell the stories I gather there! I only wish I had a camera...but God knows what he was doing about that too. It will be so good to see how God does his thing. 

Weekends are full of events here as well. Sickness is rampant as sleep is limited and work is prevalent. The rugby team won the Sevens tournament last weekend, so that was really exciting for us as a base. This weekend we had a birthday in our team and some of the school went out to lunch and to the beach. Movies are quite common in weekends as well since it is so hot and people are anxious for rest after a long week. I stayed home yesterday and wrote letters, studied Ephesians, did laundry, and cleaned the bathroom. 

This is life here. Four more weeks and then we are off on outreach. One week in an Aboriginal community and then four in PNG. One more week back on base and then everyone flies home! Merry Christmas! I don't think I've ever been so excited for snow! Enjoy your leaves and colors and cool crisp air...maybe I'll see them again someday ;) I'll be enjoying PNG during Thanksgiving. 

Keep me in your prayers (:

•health (everyone is falling sick)

•finances ($3000 to go for PNG!)

•safety (even if I manage not to get injured building, I still manage in other ways...such as smacking a spinning fan in my sleep...)

If you would like to donate to my outreach for PNG as a birthday present you can do that at www.ywamrto.org/payments/ 

Blessings in Brisbane

This past week in Brisbane was filled with good things and blessings. We stayed with a couple named Auntie Lorrene and Bill in their lovely little Queenslander style home. The walls were papered and the dark wood furniture and shelves displayed any number of curios from world travel and antiques of all kinds. Pictures and aged photographs and portraits graced the walls. Doilies sat on tables and buffets and embroidered tablecloths spread over the table in the main room. Only seeing it in person would do it justice. 

Auntie Lorrene and I chatted many mornings as we seemed to be always the first two awake, and many nights as we were often the two not watching tv or music videos. I also cooked with her a few different times and it was a wonderful chance to find new recipes and have yet another chance to talk to her. 

She is a beautiful woman. So wise. So full of stories. She has three children and a few grandchildren. She has traveled the world doing missions. Her home is open and she is a gracious and generous hostess. The love that spilled from her was amazing. This is what I want people to be able to say of me. I want to be like Lorrene. 

It was a huge blessing to me to be welcomed as I was into her life. 

Relationships was the subject of our lectures this week. I learned so much from them, and also so much from Auntie Lorrene. It's always hard to put into words what exactly I took from it... Maybe I will know better later. Something simple and good is that all problems in the world are relationship problems, whether between God and man, man and other men, or man and himself. If we took Jesus' new commandment to love The Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself then most of our problems would likely dissolve. Loving is as simple as choosing the highest and best in all situations. 

Food has been delicious... I love food, honestly. So many recipes collected, so many new things tried. For those of you who know me, this may be interesting... I ate a bowl of ice cream last night. And I feel fine today. Praise The Lord. I am also beginning to understand the authority I have in Jesus' name and I have been claiming that over my stomach and my migraines. Bless The Lord. 

Pennies and tulip trees... I found an American penny in my backpack, a Euro-cent coin in the washroom, and a brown colored five cent Aussie coin today. God still finds ways to remind me that He is hanging around and blessing me. Even as we drove to the airport I saw an African tulip tree--basically another sort of penny for me. 

Yesterday afternoon the skies opened and poured buckets of water on us. When I stood under the spray of Victoria Falls in Zambia I did not get wet and soaked as quickly as running through that downpour. It was wonderful. I wished that I could have had extra clothes along so I could play in it. Maybe another time.

After it stopped raining, a rainbow hung in the sky for a while. Some time passed and it disappeared. The heavy clouds started to break apart and blow around as God painted the sky in all sorts of greys and blue like some sort of heavenly stormy ocean. It began to glow in peach and crimson and gold, first along edges and then in all the spaces as the sky turned to amber. Palm trees silhouetted against the brightest halo of gold stood to one side and the ocean was in the sky to the other. As I walked the wind blew on my skin and birds sang and flew between trees. 

I am now in JetStar aircraft some thousands of feet above the ground somewhere between Brisbane and Townsville. As we float in bright blue skies above cotton-white clouds a new stage of the journey is beginning to the most beautiful ending.  

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Come away with me
Come away with me
It's gonna be wild 
It's gonna great
It's gonna be full of me 

'Cause 
I have a plan for you
I have a plan for you
It's gonna be wild 
It's gonna be great 
It's gonna be full of me 

Still Ready to Pick Me Up

Last night we went out as a team to do some evangelism in Surfers Paradise, Gold Coast. It was rough. The person I was partnered with and I, long story short, didn't do much talking to people. I wanted to, but the way it went, it didn't work. Seemed they only wanted to shop or sit. So I tried a few times to talk to people and it didn't really work. They had to go. So mostly we sat around. I was near tears by the end and though I had prayed alone it really wasn't a team thing. Nothing we did was. I felt trapped in that I had to do only what the other person with me wanted. 

Today, we went out again, a different group, to tell people about the ship. We had walked a while with nothing happening and we turned around to walk back along the beach. There were vendors setting up for beachside markets all along the walkway. I stopped at a tent and admired a box they had out. 

The man and I started talking about the ship and PNG and their health status and governments. I showed him on the flyer where we planned to put different things on the ship, clinics, tenders, triage, and how we were going to extend decks and build clinics. We had a good chat and I was able to tell him the story of Jack the dentist. He was amazed at that and what we are doing. 

We also talked about how thankful he was for the American brothers Australia has. I can not aptly describe the excitement and joy our conversation held; the hope exchanged as we spoke. 

He gave me a gift, a silver necklace with a clear crystal stone. He said that I should wear it and God will always be able to see where I am. And then he said, "but you already know he sees you." 

As I left we introduced ourselves. His name is John and he definitely wants to donate and find out more about it. 

It was such a blessing to me to be able to have this conversation. It was a great reminder that even when things go badly, as they did last night, God is still here ready to pick up the pieces and work with me anyway. 

Training in Secret

I had a revelation today (Sunday, September 14) while I sat listening to the message at a Fijian church in Brisbane, Australia. Our DTS walked in and nearly doubled the size of the congregation with our group of 17 or so people.

I'm sitting there listening and I hear Pastor Netani (who we are blessed to have as our school leader) say something about wondering what the call in your life is. I'm sure all ears perked. We, as humans, are always looking for the plan, the blueprint, of our lives.

***Spoiler alert: God doesn't tell us everything and he doesn't show the blueprint. ***

We have to follow day by day seeking him and knowing him so that we know the steps to take.

What Pastor Netani was saying about the call and the purpose of our lives as children is that it is simply to do the tasks our parents set for us.

He gave a story of when he was staying with a cousin to attend school one time and his duties were cooking and cleaning and dishes. He felt like the lady of the house and often wanted to run away. But he didn't. He stayed.

Looking back he says that he saw God's hand in all of it. He was training him in secret to do the things that God had prepared for him.

Training in secret. That phrase jumped out at me. Isn't that what we are doing right now? I mean, Pastor Net wondered "what's the purpose of this? This isn't the thing I am here to do."

And I am here helping to run a public relations campaign and touring the pacific and the east coast of Australia. What? Yeah. And I wonder the same things. At least when we are doing lectures it feels like training, but this?

But right now, he is training me in secret. He is quietly teaching me ... well ... something. I don't know exactly what. But he is preparing me now for the plans he has for me later.

Even though I can't see it. Even though I often want to run away. Even when I can't see that there is a purpose for the things I am doing. He is training me in secret and his hand is still here and still present guiding me into his plans.

No Creative Names Left In my Head

So, we just missed the City Cat ferry to Brisbane, so, while we wait, I thought I'd write a bit. 

I have a few stories from the past few days... Here they are. 

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Back in Mackay, we met this little boy at an event he came to with his mother. I was waiting with him for a minute until the volunteer who was in charge of him for the night returned. As we waited, I asked him how he liked the ship. He nearly burst! This five year old kid was so thrilled with the ship that he had decided to become captain–not of any old ship, but just this one, the Ammari. He began to count, "...six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, eighteen, twenty!" When he is twenty, he says he will be the right age to captain our ship. 
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I met a man on the wharf in Gladstone. He was getting on his boat to go out to the reef for a week of fishing and camping. We chatted for a bit...his name is something like Murray...learned that he doesn't much care for Christianity, but it's a free country, he says, and people can believe what they want. He didn't want to go on the ship, just kept about his business of stocking his own boat to feed about twelve men for a week. I told him when he asked where I was from, what we are doing here, and the like. He was friendly and chatted to me all day from just after we started til just before we finished. It wasn't anything huge, but from the beginning of the day to the end he changed a bit. It started with his seeming almost bothered by us being here, and ended with friendly conversation as we finished off the day. It was cool. I had a chance to share a tiny bit of what I believe, and he brightened my day. 
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It was entirely unexpected. After church, Netani came to us and asked if we would like to go back to the ship or if we would like to go to the home of some new Fijian friends for a lovo. In favor of an adventure, we hesitatingly chose the latter. 

Leaving, now over five hours later, I can honestly say that was the best time I have had in a while. It was family. It was friendship. It was real. God truly chose to bless us today. I can not even say how much. 

We drove up and down roller coaster roads to arrive at a little place in the bush. A pit was dug and firewood gathered. Food was chopped and mixed and wrapped. Fire was started and stones were heated. Food was cooked. Laughter reigned. Cultures collided and mixed so beautifully. Food was abundant and so delicious. Contacts were exchanged. Blessings given, tears shed, and embraces exchanged. And as we pull away, I know that this will never be forgotten. 
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The sail from Gladstone to Brisbane was awful. Blackish waters, dark clouds, rain, rough waves. It felt like the ship was falling apart at times. Other times it felt like a whale was breaching under the ship. It kept slamming into waves. Many people got sea sick... I nearly did as well. We did see whales and dolphins again, as usual, but in my efforts to see them one time I had my hand slammed in the door. Long story short, it's purple-ish now and somewhat sore... Oh well. 

Not much else in the way of happenings. I'm on ship ops this week, which means I'm back to cleaning toilets. Brisbane is another industrial port away from the city. Not much is within walking distance. Except for bulk fluid storage, that is. Nine days left of ship tour for Pacific. Then we drive back here to Brisbane. 

That's all for now, I guess. Still waiting for the ferry. See you in 104 days. 

Time to Go -- Again

Honestly, this tour is run, run, run. Townsville, Cairns, Mackay, now Gladstone, and Monday morning we sail for Brisbane. 

In all the running I have failed to keep you updated. I am trying, but wifi is scarce at best. In only 10 minutes I will have to run again, so this is my hurried attempt at relating what I am able in a short time. 

Last you knew of my adventures was Billabong. I'll start there. We will see how far I get. 

We moved from Townsville to Hidden Valley for one week before jumping aboard the medical ship. Hidden Valley was a time where we studied the Lordship of Christ intensely with minimal distraction. Amazing things happened. I was spoken to in astounding ways. My life will be changed and is being changed through this time. I have hope for my future and am excited for the promises of welfare and of persecution that I found while seeking God. 

After camping, literally a mountaintop experience, we moved to the ship. Our first sail was to Cairns. Like Mark Parker said, it was one of the hardest weeks of my life. Questioning decisions made, and basically just hating the fact I had made them at all... Questioning my sanity. Missing home more than ever before. Wondering what is next and where to go in the future. There is a lot on my mind!

Cairns was crazy, but good. We had so much to do with ship tours, but we also had free time. When you have free time, Cairns is the place to be. Whether it was visiting the Great Barrier Reef (I got to scuba dive for the very first time!), or shopping the night markets, watching fire dancers or listening to friends play piano downtown, there was more than enough to do. It was a welcome break to the constant thinking and working.

We all hopped back on board to sail to Mackay from Cairns. Each time we sail the view is amazing. We often see whales, or at least I do. There are some people who chance to miss them every time. This past sighting, between Mackay and Gladstone, was quite spectacular--the whales really put on a show! Often God paints the sky in gorgeous hues varying from gold to crimson, and mountainous islands often silhouette the sunset sky. It is beautiful out here on the water. 

I wish I could remember all there is to say. I feel like what I am writing is only a jumbled mess of unrelated thoughts--a collage of sorts. 

Since I am writing all this, I need to say something honestly to you. This tour is hard. More than the fact that I have been terribly sick with an awful cold the past week. More than that I have trouble sleeping at night. More than the fact that it is run run run all the time. It's hard being here in Australia running a public relations tour from a cruise ship as we travel down the coast, basically sightseeing. It feels like a party ship on a humanitarian mission. Don't get me wrong, there are stories of people whose lives have been touched--this including our own. Yes, we are doing it for the people of PNG. Yes, God is using us. But it's rough. Many times I feel useless here. Like I could be doing something more beneficial elsewhere. . . . .something that feels more like Kingdom work. It's hard, too, because our team, Pacific DTS, is split into three different PR teams and we don't even work together at our stops. Even when we sail, most of the girls get seasick and stay in bed the whole time. So the family I have at home is distant, and the family I have here is missing. Time is scarce and rushed, so though the purpose of this whole thing is to save people for Jesus, Jesus is forgotten, it seems, in the chaos. It is hard to find time or a place to listen to and spend time with him.

Mackay was difficult because we had to all stay on the ship the whole time. Gladstone is in town again, or just outside, so we are able to get off and walk around. In Mackay, we were at an industrial wharf and needed to shuttle people between the gate and the ship--and it was 20 minutes from the gate into town. 

Today is Friday, tomorrow I have tours all day. Sunday I have the day off and will hopefully get to some free wifi zone for internet access and post some pictures from there. This post has been pieced together in four sections as I find time to add, usually when walking through free wifi zones while I was out on promo. I'm finishing it from the ship's computer...though I have only 10  minutes left. Time time time. Run run run. 

Monday morning, 0900, we ship out. Arrive in Brisbane 29 hours later. We stay there [about] a week, sail to Gold Coast, spend a few days on PR and tours, etc. Then we drive back to Brisbane, do a few church services while we are there for a week, and fly back to Townsville. Lectures for a few weeks after that and we fly off to Sydney for our second outreach. 

Thanks for watching my updates and for praying. Hopefully, this will have supplied enough information to keep your prayers up to date for a while. Still trusting God will continue to provide finances, so if you would pray for that as well it would be wonderful. 

God bless you all, 
Alainya Slakes 

To Have the Brain of a Croc

"These crocs have a brain the size of my pinky finger (holds up hand to show). There isn't enough brain power there for them to be confused by zig-zag evasion maneuvers." --Tour Guide at Billabong Wildlife Sanctuary

Sometimes I wonder if we haven't been done a disservice by having brains larger than that. I mean, I don't need to keep my head so that I can snag a zag-zagging meal as it runs away, but my brains do a lot more thinking and worrying than they should. 

Some of you may have heard the story, but I will tell it again. . . 

Friday, our school was informed that $1200 of our outreach money would be due in one week's time. I freaked out. I had no way of paying that. In the next few hours I had sent out 16 emails, multiple text messages, updated my facebook wall, and also updated my support page and a few group walls so that people would be aware of the need and might help me financially or in prayer because of it. 

So much praying later, Saturday night I recieved a text from my dad saying that Joshua had given him $1000 to deposit to my account. Praise the Lord! I checked the account to see if it was there and found $20 more I couldn't account for. Texting Natalie, my sister, I asked if it was from her. No, she said, but she had paid $500 to the school for my account! (The $20 turned out to be a check that Dad was a bit late in depositing)

This is just another time where God has shown up on time and provided in excess. I don't know when He will get it through my thick skull that He is providing for this...

One of the girls on my DTS felt to give me this verse the other day:

Then He said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe." --John 20:27

What that said to me was, "look, here is the evidence. See it? Now believe it!"

For All He Has Done

For all He has done, I need to say thank you. 

He has shown me who I am. 

He has Loved me. 

He has convicted me. 

He has forgiven me. 

He has provided for me. 

He gives me the little things...
-letters from home 
-friends who care
-awesome best friends
-amazing family

He has priveleged me immensely. ((I am here in Australia. I get to spend time with people from all over the world. I get to sing with islanders from all over the Pacific. I get to learn in a place I may never have gone from people who may well be the best people to teach me the specific things they have taught.))

He gives me flowers. 

He gives me sunshine. 

I received three letters today. 

I don't have a migraine. 

The breeze is beautiful. 

The stars are amazing. 

And even though things are rough, I have to believe He is still there, still looking out for me, and will still provide for me. 

(: On that happier note, I need $1200 if I'm going to be able to go on outreach. And it needs to come within the week. Prayers for this would be awesome. 

Also, if you are able to make a donation in any amount, I would be so blessed. 

www.ywamrto.org/payments/ 

Life and Plans in Townsville Australia

I realized today that I haven't updated this page since things started moving uphill... Apologies to everyone who has been worrying for me. I'm ok (:

Life here is crazy, but it's good. Last week, as you know, was Identity Week. This week lectures are on Clear Conscience.  The speaker is good, though confusing at times. He makes us think. A lot. Rarely is an answer given when a question is asked. It's a new learning style for most if us, but I think it is especially appropriate for this topic.

Additionally with lectures we have homework, reports, devotions, and testimonies and sermons to write. Meetings to attend, people to talk to, songs and dances to learn, outreach to prepare for, and ministry placement duties to fulfill. Free time hardly exists.  But that schedule? It only stays this way for two weeks. Then we leave for camping in Hidden Valley. One week there and Pacific/Trailblazer is off to meet the ship tour in Cairns. Once on the ship we add to all that business with two or three school out reaches each day and running groups through ship tours on the weekends. (In other words, any free time that exists in the equation resulting in "no free time" will be squeezed out and filled with more responsibilities.). But it's all good!

The ship, YWAM Townsville's second medical ship, is called Ammari. She will be outfitted with clinics, class rooms, operating theaters, and a large lecture hall. We will be using her as we did the Pacific Link to sail up rivers into  PNG. Once there, we will be able to access more remote communities than even with the last ship, spreading our aid to 500% more people and services than we had previously reached. They will be brought access to dental care, glasses, immunizations, hand washing and birth clinics and so much more. Things we basically take for granted that these people have often never heard of.

The tour is to raise awareness, collect volunteers, services, and donations, and to spread the message of Jesus as we go along.

Once we finish the ship tour, we come back to base, continue lectures, and at an unforeseen time continue on to do more outreach.

So much learning. So much growing. And we all need so much prayer.  Thanks!

Confidence?

I am a confident person. I know this because I can do anything I set out to do. I know it because the people who know me best say I can do anything I set my mind to. Because they say that they wish they were confident like me. Because they are unsure of themselves and what they can do...and I can just do things.

According to Webster, the definition of confidence is:

Confidence:

1 :  a :  a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances <had perfect confidence in her ability to succeed> <met the risk with brash confidence>

b :  faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way <have confidence in a leader>

2 :  the quality or state of being certain :  certitude <they had every confidence of success>

That's fine... But as a Christ-follower, I know there is more to it than that. Confidence is being certain of who you are...IN CHRIST. It is knowing that THROUGH CHRIST you can do all things. It is complete assurance of the fact that you are EVERY SINGLE PIECE AND PART OF WHO HE SAYS YOU ARE.

I realized something today. 

I am not confident. 

Yeah, sure, not much has changed on the outside, and I might still look like I have it all together, but on the inside there is a girl who is honestly unable to declare that she is precious to God. She can't state that she has power or authority, because she doesn't believe she is worth it. She can't dance, because honestly, her worth is based on what the people in this world think, and they would think it strange. 

I realized in lectures that I don't have it all together. I saw that I have more broken pieces than I know what to do with. 

And I really truly don't know what to do from here. 

Yeah, Bible answer... Sunday school trained me well. Give it to Jesus. Just open your hands and give it to Jesus. You can't hold His plans for you when your hands are full of broken pieces. 

Yeah, I know that! But I somehow don't know that I am precious to Him. I don't know it in my heart. I know YOU are. I know HE is. I know the girl beside me is. But me? Nah. 

If confidence is being sure of the person you are in Christ, I certainly have a long way to go before that fact walks an 18 inch mile into my heart. 

Are You Really Here, God?

So, this week has been rough. I've been very busy with homework, people, learning to manage a new schedule, and trying to still fit in Bible and quiet time. Honestly, the quiet time has mostly fallen by the wayside. Bible, well, that's easy. Didn't use to be, but I have finally gotten back in the habit of reading it and I dislike being half way through a day without having spent any time at all in it. 

As before, the people are wonderful. Little differences are working out and we are all easing into a new season of living with new people, doing new things, and living in a new place. It's rocky at times, but that's life.

Ministry placements (fancy title for mandatory labor ;) ) are going well. People are figuring out what it is they are to be doing, exactly. I clean toilets and the cafe with Isaiah for mine. They call it base ops, which is a very cool and misleading title for what it actually is... But it's not bad. Today I played music and danced around the bathroom toilet as I cleaned. 

During our lecture today, Netani had us take a few minutes to be quiet and listen to God. Afterwards, he asked if anyone had something God had communicated to them that they would share. To me, it seemed that in that time and the prayer time that followed, most people said something. I, though, felt as though I was standing to the side -- outside looking in -- as everyone else heard from my God...and as He ignored me. 

That's probably the worst part about today. I don't feel like he is talking to me. I can't feel him. I can't see him. I can't hear him. He isn't communicating with me in any way I know and I feel lost and left alone. If I didn't believe that he will never abandon me, I would be certain he had. 

I don't know if you can relate at all to this feeling, but honestly, it is just horrible. 

I guess in some ways it is my fault, or maybe in a lot of ways, and I know I need to seek him more. It's just really hard sometimes. Right now, I feel as though even if I do seek him, I still won't hear from him and nothing will change. 

I KNOW God speaks to me. I KNOW God shows me. I KNOW God is near me. I KNOW God will never leave me. I KNOW God hears me. I KNOW God LOVES me. 

Truth sometimes has to be declared so that it can be believed. Pray with me that this becomes real in my heart? It is the worst feeling in the world to feel isolated from God. The absolute worst. 

To Australia–Just Getting There

Well, hey. It's been an adventure. I left Holland, er, Zeeland. . . At 11:00am ish on the 15th. It was a long trip and that was only the beginning. My head has been spinning since I stepped out of the car in the parking garage at O'Hare. Thank God I had Mom and Dad there to walk me through the baby steps of checking my bag.  

I was very early, so I started with waiting. I wanted to call and let people know I'd be fine on that side of the airport, but the pay phone cost $10/minute if you used a card. I didn't have change so I went to find some. 

Eventually I got change by paying a $1 donation for glasses to kids in Africa and he gave me quarters. Then he offered his phone to me because he had apparently just realized that's what I needed it for. 

I was feeling alone and scared as I sat at my gate waiting. There was a man there from NC and he talked to me and encouraged me saying that 6 months was a good amount of time. I'd be ok, have fun, get a good taste of Australia, and still get to come home in the end.  He was right, of course. 

Since spring break I have been scared of planes and flying. I'm thinking I'm actually only scared of Spirit Airlines. American and Quantas are just fine (: 

From Chicago to LA I sat next to a Jewish woman. She asked what sort if Christian I was and what I told her was that I believe in Jesus and that the Bible is entirely Truth. I think that denominational boundaries are unnecessary and often get in the way, dividing people who should be united under one Name. 

She laughed and said she liked that answer and then told me about a synagogue she visited in Israel last year. 

This synagogue was split down the middle between Greek Orthodox and (I believe) Roman Catholic. Half was for one "faith" and the other half for the other. It was obvious the difference she said. 

She spoke of 3 windows in this church. There was one on each side and another in the middle of the division. At one time–50 years ago–the windows needed fixing. So they each fixed their respective window, and, both believing it was their responsibility to fix the middle one, well... One put up a ladder to fix it and an argument began. In the end, no agreement was reached on who should fix the window, so today it sits with a ladder standing smack in the middle of it unfixed. Neither would remove the ladder either. 

Huh... Anyway, that's that. Stupid division. 

Now to the exciting part. My flight from LA was late. When I got to Brisbane after 13 hours of flying, my passport wouldn't scan, lines were too long, I couldn't keep my food, and my checked backpack wouldn't show up. After getting the rest settled, I went to baggage service to file it as lost. I checked the carousel again just to be sure and this time it was there. I took it and got in line for quarantine. It took forever. Then I had to check my bag again...but I was too close to my flight leaving so he said I had to take it with me. I rushed outside to catch a bus...a late bus... And piled on with all the other flustered people dragging check baggage. Took a long time to load all of us, and when we finally got moving it was nearly 10 minutes before we arrived at the domestic terminal. Then I had to recheck my bag. Again. They took it and told me I couldn't make my flight. I was assigned a new one, which I now sit waiting for, and sent on my way. She wouldn't help me find a number or call or give me information or anything. The pay phone took Australian change, which I don't have, so I continued through security. After getting through there I was able to find some people at a desk who would help me. I used their internet to find the number for YWAM and then their phone to call. A few tries got me what I needed and I am assured I will have someone to meet me in Townsville. 

Food is exceedingly expensive. $7 sub and a $4 water... ATM won't work for cash. Tired. Sore. So weary of traveling.  

I ran into Agga, my seat mate from the LA-Brisbane flight. She told me they would give me a meal voucher for $20 to compensate for the inconvenience. I'd eaten already, but not enough, so I got this from a service desk and then she and I went to get lunch together. I had some $10 fruit cup... Goodness! I hope this isn't an Australia thing.  But it was free and I needed the sugar. 

Internet was acquired, and I was able to say hello back home. Joshua and I got to Skype and the family texted for a minute. I miss everyone. I cried myself to sleep last night and wished Joshua was holding me. 

All the encouragement and prayers are so greatly appreciated. I love you all. I am so blessed. 

Please feel free to share this post and any others on your fb wall, mine,  or anywhere. Thanks (: If you think someone will pray, send the link. Not just for me, but for the whole team. All are arriving in the next three days so prayers for safety and blessings in travel would be awesome. Also that we all "click" and that God glues us together as a team very quickly. 

Love to all and thanks again, 
Alainya

Hard Goodbyes

For so long it felt unreal. I would say I was leaving in July, in a month, in two weeks, in 10 days, on the fifteenth... And it never really hits home until you have to say goodbye. 

Goodbye to Benjamin. You are only three years old... When I come home you will be four. I hope you don't ever feel like I wanted to leave you. You're trouble, but I love you to pieces. I'll do my best to find a kangaroo, just for you, and when I find him I'll remember his pocket is "in [your] face!" I love you, Bug.

Goodbye to Daddy. I'm going to miss you so much. Nearly every time I leave, I miss you first. I love you.

Goodbye, Mommy. I love you tons. I'm going to miss my friend; my comforter. Your advice, though I rebel against it, and your hugs will be without replacement until I come home.

Goodbye, Adam. You're already gone. I love you. You're a great kid. I'm going to miss you terribly. Play your game well. Make me proud. You always do. Take care of Mom for me. She will need your hugs. Work hard. Do well in school. Don't give up. You're the best.

Goodbye to David. You're such a nice guy. I'm sure you'll be taller than me in December.... Try not to squash me? In a day or two I am sure I will miss your chatter. I love you. Work hard in school and piano. Don't give your teachers too much trouble, alright? ;) 

Goodbye, Natalie, my sister. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. Yeah, you're a pain at times...a really big pain...but when I need a friend you're there with a hug and ready to listen to me vent. You're the best sister I could have asked for. You won't be home when I call... Maybe you can make time for a chat every now and then anyway? Do well in school. You're too smart for them. Everyone knows that. Take care of Grandma and Grandpa... Don't let things get too boring around there. Maybe you can show them this blog for me? Thanks, Sis. I love you. 

Goodbye, Joshua. Always friends? Let's take some time with God and figure this thing out. For sure. I Love you. I'm going to miss you--heck, I already do. This isn't going to be easy, but God knows eventually we will know it was worth it. I'll see you in December. <3

Goodbye to Sadie, our new little puppy. I hope you remember me when I come home.

Goodbye grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles, and cousins. 

Goodbye house I haven't lived in for even a year.

Goodbye friends.

Goodbye Michigan.

Goodbye home.

Goodbye walks by the stream. 

Goodbye stars.

Goodbye mulberries.

The tears that come... You'd never know it could be so hard. I know I'm doing what God wants from me, and I know I'm coming back, but it doesn't make it easy to leave everything and everyone I have loved.

This I know: God is for Me

…[if]…My people who are called by My name humble themselves, pray and seek My face, and turn from their evil ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land. My eyes will now be open and My ears attentive to prayer from this place.  -2 Chronicles 7:14-15

One week from tomorrow, I set out on a journey. I have known of it a while, and so have many of you. It started with these words from God: “Fill out your Australia application.” If those words were not clear, I would probably have chickened out by now.

If he had said to simply fill out the application, I would be saying, “to where? Zambia!? Ok! I can’t wait to get there…” But no. He SAID Australia.

A few years ago when Mom and I were dreaming about a trip we plan to take in 10-15 years, she suggested Australia as a destination. My response? “I have no interest in going to Australia. None at all. I’ve never wanted to go there.” So we chose a new place. .

I have known for the past few months that I was going on this trip for me. Not because I want to, because heaven knows I usually don’t. A tear-filled episode last night confirmed this thought for me when a friend suggested that this would be a time for me to learn and grow in ways I can only learn and grow there. And maybe in the meantime, she said, you will end up sharing Christ with the people you encounter.

One thing is for sure, the devil does not want me to go. He is sinking his claws into me, as literally as that is possible, and doing all he can to discourage me, scare me, and remind me that I never wanted to go to Australia. He tells me how far from home it is, and about how I don’t know anyone there. He tells me that I will have limited (if any) communication with home, since the 14 hour time difference will create a huge barrier. One thing, though, where I can see and know he has lost the fight is this.

I AM GOING to Australia. GOD WILL PROVIDE for me in Australia. GOD IS PROTECTING me here, and HE WILL BE PROTECTING me there. HE WILL TEACH me things I can not even dream. I know HIS ANGELS STAND WITH ME. And I know that HE WILL BE WITH ME. I know that HE WILL HEAR ME. I know that HE WILL FORGIVE ME. And I know that MY GOD IS FOR ME.

What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us?  -Romans 8:31 

You Yourself have recorded my wanderings. Put my tears in your bottle. Are they not your records? Then my enemies will retreat on the day when I call. This I know: God is for me.    -Psalm 56:8-9

He Who Began A Good Work

It's rough. I'm struggling to keep believing. While the current fundraiser is going better than planned at the moment, I keep looking at the "setbacks" around me. 

I just looked at airline pricing again... I had taken weeks off from checking because there was no point when I had less than $1000. When I looked, they had gone up. A lot. $400. That was two days ago. Today they are up $600. Also, I just found out that I now will have to buy two one-way tickets--another increase of around $200 just for that. Even if I had gotten them earlier...but I didn't have the money. 

I'm sitting here wondering what God is planning. Honestly, I'm feeling kind of let down, and I don't know what to believe about Australia any more. When all you hear around you is the opinions of people who want to live life themselves, it is hard to believe something that isn't within your control. 

God is teaching me. I am sure of that. This hurts too much for it to be useless. 

A while back I was reading the Bible and a verse stuck out to me. God changed it a bit in my mind and He spoke it to me. 

"I, who began a good work with you, will carry it on to completion."

The original comes from Philippians 1:6. 

I flipped open my Bible just now, hoping to find some consolation or simply to refocus my heart, and I opened to this verse. Tears starting running down my face as I reached for my laptop. What better time to start writing again than now?

God, if you want me in Australia, then provide for me to be there. I don't know your plans, and I can't understand your ways, but help me to trust that you can and that you do. Help me to have faith that you have all this in your hands and that this work, which you started, you will carry on to completion. As the boy's father cried in Mark 9:24, "I do believe; help my unbelief!"  Help me to keep my eyes fixed on you, not on the winds and waves around me. Thank you Jesus. Amen.

Bless the Lord

I wrote this as I sat out in the woods today. Since I was encouraged to share it, I will post it here.

_________________________________

My life is a series of times I forget and times I remember how important nature really is. The time I forget most often is winter. Everything is one color and it's gosh-darn cold here in Michigan.

I'm sitting right now with my feet hanging over the creek in the woods back of our house. They are just a small woods, but still beautiful. The sun is beginning to go down, though not to set, and all the light is golden. The snow is new and thick. It sparkles silver under the sun. Shadows, long and grey, give an effect like it is a dream.

The creek is slow, as it always is. The bottom brown and muddy. Snow-capped rocks and small boulders sprinkle themselves along it and as it runs it twists and turns around the banks.

At times, the snow slopes down to meet the water, and at others it falls straight like a cliff. Where they meet, the water runs along an icy border it has made for itself, as silver as the sparkles in the snow.

As sunlight ripples and reflects off the water it dances on the banks--the only sign of life here in the woods today. Not a breath is seen but my own, and the only sound is the occasional creaking of branches overhead.

Mr. Moon peeks in from between bare branches, too anxious to wait his turn in the sky. There are no clouds above, but in the creek a few float along--ice formed clouds of snow fallen from the banks.

And now I leave. I am frozen as well. Bless the Lord and Praise Him for His works are Marvelous--I know that full well.

_________________________________

Be blessed.

How Do You Spell Strength?

"How do you spell strength?"

"S - T - R - E - N - G - T - H"

Immediately my mind caught those words. It was as though something told my heart I would need them. It replayed in my head throughout the day. "How do you spell strength?"

Strength. It isn't a chain of letters spelling a word. It's more than that. And it's something to think about. 

strength

 noun \ˈstreŋ(k)th, ˈstren(t)th\

: the quality or state of being physically strong

: the ability to resist being moved or broken by a force

    --the power to resist attack; impregnability

    --the power to resist strain or stress; durability

: the quality that allows someone to deal with problems in a determined and effective way

: the ability to maintain a moral or intellectual position firmly

In the Bible, strength is always something attributed to God, not man, though man can receive it from God.

The Lord is my strength and my song. (Ex. 15:2a)

He guards the steps[a] of His faithful ones,
but the wicked perish in darkness,
for a man does not prevail by his own strength. (1 Sam. 2:9)

I love You, Lord, my strength. (Ps. 18:1)

The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. (Ps. 28:7a)

God is our refuge and strength,
a helper who is always found
in times of trouble. (Ps. 46:1)

But those who trust in the Lord
will renew their strength. (Is. 40:31a)

So he answered me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by strength or by might, but by My Spirit,’ says the Lord of Hosts. (Zech. 4:6)

I've been needing this a lot recently. To put it simply, yesterday may well have been one of the hardest days of my life. I needed strength--not physical strength, but God's strength. The strength to know what was right and to stick with it. The strength to be unmoved in my belief even when life seemed to crash down around me. The strength to keep moving even when it looks like the only way I could get where I was going was ripped out from beneath me. 

"How do you spell strength?"

You spell it hope. You spell it faith. You spell it look out around you because God's got this--even though you don't, and never could. You spell it keep on moving, because God's plan is bigger than this mess. And you spell it Jesus. He was hated, too. 

Yeah, that's right. "How do you spell strength?"

"J - E - S - U - S"