I am a confident person. I know this because I can do anything I set out to do. I know it because the people who know me best say I can do anything I set my mind to. Because they say that they wish they were confident like me. Because they are unsure of themselves and what they can do...and I can just do things.
According to Webster, the definition of confidence is:
Confidence:
1 : a : a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances <had perfect confidence in her ability to succeed> <met the risk with brash confidence>
b : faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way <have confidence in a leader>
2 : the quality or state of being certain : certitude <they had every confidence of success>
That's fine... But as a Christ-follower, I know there is more to it than that. Confidence is being certain of who you are...IN CHRIST. It is knowing that THROUGH CHRIST you can do all things. It is complete assurance of the fact that you are EVERY SINGLE PIECE AND PART OF WHO HE SAYS YOU ARE.
I realized something today.
I am not confident.
Yeah, sure, not much has changed on the outside, and I might still look like I have it all together, but on the inside there is a girl who is honestly unable to declare that she is precious to God. She can't state that she has power or authority, because she doesn't believe she is worth it. She can't dance, because honestly, her worth is based on what the people in this world think, and they would think it strange.
I realized in lectures that I don't have it all together. I saw that I have more broken pieces than I know what to do with.
And I really truly don't know what to do from here.
Yeah, Bible answer... Sunday school trained me well. Give it to Jesus. Just open your hands and give it to Jesus. You can't hold His plans for you when your hands are full of broken pieces.
Yeah, I know that! But I somehow don't know that I am precious to Him. I don't know it in my heart. I know YOU are. I know HE is. I know the girl beside me is. But me? Nah.
If confidence is being sure of the person you are in Christ, I certainly have a long way to go before that fact walks an 18 inch mile into my heart.
"I love you, Alainya. I have known your name since before you were born. I chose you to be Mine before the foundations of the world were laid. You are special to Me. You are the one that I delight in. I love you just as much as I love my only son, Jesus - more than you can ever imagine. Even when you get to heaven, it will take you an eternity to learn how crazy I am about you. I will never leave you, no matter what you have done or could ever do. You are Mine, and I will never let you go. I am jealous for you, and you can never escape My loving, caring, passionate hand. I will protect you, watch over you, and guide you. I take ever opportunity to lavish my love on you, and I love seeing you love me back. Sometimes you will feel like I am far from you, but that is a lie. I am always beside you, but sometimes I am quiet. I love you so much. I love you, Alainya. I love you." - Your Daddy
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