Safety and God's Timing

So, we are moving soon.

I think. 

Maybe. 

It could be soon.

Honestly, at this point, I don't even know anymore. First it was one house, now it's another. The two are quite a distance from each other and therefore everything around them is as well. Closing on the current pick could be sometime in the next two weeks...or it could take much longer. Who knows, it might not happen at all. 

And all this time I am waiting for life to straighten out so that I can do the things God has asked for me to do. There is so much going on, so much not going on, and so much changing that all I feel like doing right now is to grab onto something stable, close my eyes, and wait it out. 

Today I realized that God doesn't really have it in His plan for me to shut out His plans in the chaos and just go along for the ride until things quiet down. I think I've even written about this before.... Anyway, if I honestly think life is going to quiet down, I am probably gravely mistaken. Since when has life gotten easier after a time? I can't really say. Sure, you get used to things as they are, but easier? Maybe, but probably not. 

So I am letting go of that precious hope for stability and accepting that God is enough. You'd think I would have caught on by now, but I haven't. He has to keep teaching me. And I think that I have found out that if I cling to Him, though my boat is rocking in the storm, I am safe in His arms as I follow His plan for me. 

(Side note: Have you ever realized that God's view of "safety" is ever so much different than ours?)

Having given up on my own view of safety and accepting his, I am working towards following the call He has placed on me in this season of my life. As you may know, I am not returning to Cornerstone this semester. I didn't understand God's reasoning for it when He told me to think about it back in January, or when I finally made my decision in June, but I see now that He has some pretty amazing plans for me. It's what happens when we trust Him, I guess. (:

One of these plans He has is that I would start a small group/Bible study with girls in the area. Now, how on earth am I supposed to do this when I don't even know the area I am going to be in? So I pushed it aside and kept waiting for things to settle. As I have been thinking about this, it might be a mixed blessing that God hasn't moved us yet. And I have been wasting time. No, maybe I don't know who is going to join this group, but I don't really need to know that right now. This is the time for prayer and planning--something that needs to be done to prepare for a thing like this. Oops. Yeah. Thank you, God. 

His timing seems to be perfect. Every. Single. Time. 

He is already preparing His end of it; the girls who will come, their hearts, my heart, their minds for understanding, mine for wisdom to teach and to understand them, etc... Now it is time for me to prepare what He has left for me. 

In life, that is so much more than a Bible study. It goes for all of life. I am constantly making excuses saying, "when this happens, then I will ____." Not how it's supposed to work. Today I am thankful for God's patience. The Lord knows I need it as much as anyone.