For My Babies

I cried for Charlie last night. I was on the phone with a couple of parents of kids in the youth group. They questioned something I had told their son. I appreciate their asking. Hearing what they had, I probably would have done the same. 

Their son had asked about what would happen to a baby if it died. And I don't know. The Bible says in Romans that we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. So I told him that. But I also told him that I hope God would have the grace to look at this child and take it to Himself when the child died if only because He died to save all of us from our sins--and the child couldn't yet make a decision. But, I also told him, I don't know. I don't know.

Why, oh why, do kids have to ask such hard questions? 

I broke down into tears. Tears that begged God to have mercy on my child, my children, and any lost heart that doesn't yet have the ability to speak. 

I believe that God is close to the children. He told us to have faith like a child, right? And a part of me believes that somehow children know God...even if as adults they forget him... 

But I don't know. 

And so I cry. My heart breaks for my Charlie, and I pray that God gives me the chance to show her/him everything He has for her/him. I desperately hope that He gives me this desire--that my child will be born and that my child will know Him. 

I pray and I cry out for all the people who don't know the heart of my Father. Because HE IS GOOD. And life without Him is so dark and empty. 

God, for Charlie, please make her/him healthy. God please grow my child strong. Grow their faith stronger. Give my child a heart for the lost and for the broken. Help my child to go out and to show Your LOVE and Your LIGHT to this dark and broken world. Give my child a wisdom and an understanding for people that will cause the words my child says to penetrate into the hearts of broken people--as only words from You can. 

God, have mercy on us. On my family, my husband, my children. Let us live to shine Your LOVE and Your LIGHT to everyone we meet. Help us to know You so that though us, others will know You too.

Amen