I read an author/blogger/woman once who wrote of this thing she called crusty hospitality. (I swear I am not trying to withhold credit and I searched her to see if I could link to her article, but I can't find it. If you know the woman of whom I speak, please let me know and I will edit this post to include her!) Basically, as I remember it, her crusty hospitality was the mindset that we should just welcome people into our lives -- without having to "clean up" first.
I guess it's like we always say that Jesus asks us to come as we are. Growing up I always had it explained to me that you don't take a bath before you jump in the shower. You just shower. This author wanted to invite people to come as they were, so she also came as she was.
So many times I think we fail to invite people into our lives because we aren't "ready for company." We were raised by well-meaning mothers who taught us to clean-clean-CLEAN and stuff things in closets and scrub and wash and vacuum and make-perfect before company arrived. It was always days of hassle and stress, and then the harried rush to hide away anything that had been missed.
It really didn't make us want to have guests... But at least the house got cleaned. Mostly.
I am currently in the process of moving. I live in a small apartment (perhaps large as apartments go, but it is small for a family living space). I have boxes piled floor to ceiling and almost literally coming out my ears. I can't walk in my bedroom (we just had guests for dinner and I needed the table and dining room).
I was on the phone with my mother and mentioned that I was having dinner guests over for homemade pizza. She had seen the state of my home and congratulated me on being able to invite people into my mess. Thanks, Mom. But really, I wonder if that should deserve congratulations at all. I honestly feel like we should work harder at making people feel welcome instead of working harder on making our home look like a magazine. I feel like we should not expect when we are offered a meal at someone else's table that they will have a home that looks like that magazine either.
When we allow ourselves to be messy, we are able to welcome people into our real lives. When we allow them to be messy we speak a message that says, "I am not here for the food or the house, I am here because I value you."
I was going to made homemade pizza crust and we were going to have a fine night of great food and good times. But life and moving and my poor sick baby wouldn't allow for that. So, I bought two loaves of Italian bread and we sliced it up and made pizza on that. We ate at a newly cleared table surrounded by filled moving boxes. We placed our used dishes on a counter that already held many others. And the food was good. And the company was good. And the conversation was good. And we were all able to be real because in the space where I really do life I invited my friends in to do life with me too.
Sometimes we need to share what's left in the fridge. Don't let that stop you from building friendships.
Sometimes we have to move laundry so that your friend has a place to sit. Don't let that stop you from sharing your home.
Sometimes the food is burned.
Sometimes you haven't dusted in months.
Sometimes you have boxes on boxes and there isn't really room to kick them aside.
Don't allow this to keep you from sharing life with the people you need to be sharing life with.
This is crusty hospitality.
If you're worried they won't come again after they see how you share, then they were there for the food or the house, not the conversation and the friendship. If they are there for you, the food won't matter, the house won't matter, the baby's attitude won't matter.
And it will be blessed.
**Side note: If I waited until I had it all under control, I would never have guests over again. You too?**
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